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Question
Posted by: Dirk | 2012/07/12

Wife issues

I hope someone can help. My wife seems to be having not feeling well about every month for about 2 weeks. The latest is that she is having a stomach bug again. I am ok with being ill, ut what bothers me is that she becomes extremely blunt and abrubt when ill. She hardly talks and sits in silence next to me in the house. I have confronted her about these silent spells and mood changes and she saus she does not have control over how she feels or wants to feel. I ahve recommended spychological help, but she declined.

On a more serious note, she has been sleeping in the spare room for the past 11 months, (we are married for 18). Her reasons are that I breathe too loud when I sleep and that she can not get a good rest with me next to her...

Your advice?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Useful thoughts from Amy. PMS is a possibility - does she recognize that there is some problem, or is it only you who are troubled by it ?
While its true that we may have relaively limited control over how we feel, we DO have control over how we choose to behave about how we feel.
It'd be worth checking on the issue of your breahing patterns when you sleep. These can be significant without you necessarily being at all aware of it. And yes, post-nasal drip or mild allergic stuffiness, or adenoids or various causes may lead to noisy breathing and snoring which can be awful for anyone sharing your bed ( and each has their own potential solution ). Sometimes if you tend to sleep mainly on your back, and noisy then, sewing something had like a tennis ball or cotton reel in the middle of the back of your pyjama jacket or equivalent, can help, as when you roll onto your back it then becomes so uncomfortably that you tend to roll back, more silently, onto your side.
Another possibility, which you might want to check on ( and pleasantly, when she's in one of her better moods, ask your wife about the PATTERN of your noisy breathing at night ) - you may have Paroxysmal Nocturla Dyspnoea or a similar condition, in which your breathing tends to get louder and louder - followed by a silence when you actually stop breathing altogether for maybe a minute or so, then resume breathing noisily. This can cause problems for you, and again, there are various useful remedies for that.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: amy | 2012/07/12

Dear Dirk, perhaps she has PMS, where a woman becomes very irritable and moody when she is due to have her period, i know some people have it very bad. Maybe you should try a nasal spray for your breathing as you may be suffering from post nasal drip, which makes you breath loud. you should see an ENT for the problem. Good luck

Reply to amy
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/07/12

Useful thoughts from Amy. PMS is a possibility - does she recognize that there is some problem, or is it only you who are troubled by it ?
While its true that we may have relaively limited control over how we feel, we DO have control over how we choose to behave about how we feel.
It'd be worth checking on the issue of your breahing patterns when you sleep. These can be significant without you necessarily being at all aware of it. And yes, post-nasal drip or mild allergic stuffiness, or adenoids or various causes may lead to noisy breathing and snoring which can be awful for anyone sharing your bed ( and each has their own potential solution ). Sometimes if you tend to sleep mainly on your back, and noisy then, sewing something had like a tennis ball or cotton reel in the middle of the back of your pyjama jacket or equivalent, can help, as when you roll onto your back it then becomes so uncomfortably that you tend to roll back, more silently, onto your side.
Another possibility, which you might want to check on ( and pleasantly, when she's in one of her better moods, ask your wife about the PATTERN of your noisy breathing at night ) - you may have Paroxysmal Nocturla Dyspnoea or a similar condition, in which your breathing tends to get louder and louder - followed by a silence when you actually stop breathing altogether for maybe a minute or so, then resume breathing noisily. This can cause problems for you, and again, there are various useful remedies for that.

Reply to cybershrink

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