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Question
Posted by: Gerrit | 2011/05/30

Wife in Menopause

My wife (42) is going through menopause due to breast cancer 7 years ago. She is clear of cancer now and healthy. The problem is, she admitted she doesn’ t like and want sex anymore. She will only do it once every second or third week to try and please me. She doesn’ t want to take medication or enhancements for the situation. She doesn’ t want me to masturbate. What should I do?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

By the sound of t your wife has been through a couple of challenges in her life and going through menopause is also not one of the easiest times for both the women as well as for the husband. The reality is that a relationship is however about two people and two sets of needs and desires. The challenge is to find a way to accommodate both parties’ needs without feeling that you are being done in or that you are sacrificing yourself. My advice would definitively be for the two of you to seek professional guidance from a psychologist in the field of sexual health to assist you to gain some perspective for one another’s perspective and to find ways to accommodate one another in a healthy way.

You are welcome to phone our helpline – 0860100262 where you could be assisted in finding a practitioner that you could go and see as close as possible to you. You are also welcome to visit our website www.sexualhealth.co.za that makes for interesting reading.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Anon | 2011/05/30

Well, I think it selfish that she does not even want you to help yourself. This is not a good situation. She is going to have to make a sacrifice or two - either herself by getting more into it or allowing you a little diy. What would she prefer, the diy, or you eventually going to look for it from another woman? Which is what is going to happen eventually if she does not come to the party.

I am sorry that she had to go through what she went through. It is not that I am unsympathetic to her illness, but unfortunately, reality is what reality is. You should talk to her and get her to understand this.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: sexologist | 2011/05/30

By the sound of t your wife has been through a couple of challenges in her life and going through menopause is also not one of the easiest times for both the women as well as for the husband. The reality is that a relationship is however about two people and two sets of needs and desires. The challenge is to find a way to accommodate both parties’ needs without feeling that you are being done in or that you are sacrificing yourself. My advice would definitively be for the two of you to seek professional guidance from a psychologist in the field of sexual health to assist you to gain some perspective for one another’s perspective and to find ways to accommodate one another in a healthy way.

You are welcome to phone our helpline – 0860100262 where you could be assisted in finding a practitioner that you could go and see as close as possible to you. You are also welcome to visit our website www.sexualhealth.co.za that makes for interesting reading.

Reply to sexologist

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