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Question
Posted by: Anonymous | 2009/04/23

Widow dating

Hi CS,

Im starting to date a widow with 2 young girls, she is taking it very slow, slower than Im accustomed to, as Ive never dated a widow before. I suspect that its because of her kids that she is keeping her distance slightly until she can establish how I relate and interact with her girls.

Does this make sense and do you have any advice on how to integrate myself into her family and earn the acceptance and trust of her girls?
Thanks

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

There may be many reasons why someone might want to take the development of a relationship slowly --- why not discuss this gently with her, so as to better understand each other ? It makes sense for her to want to see how you grow into any relationship with her girls. Other than recommending that you be yourself, there's no distinct formula yo integration into another family, as so much depends on the particulars of you and them.
Lwets see what other readers think based on their own experiences

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Anonymous | 2009/04/23

Hi, Anon

Thanks for responding to my post. Yes, its quite tricky, her late husb died 3 years ago and she has casually dated in between, so it seems that she is working on closure...but then again, does one ever truly heal? Im not sure...In my case there is definatley sparks and thats why I dont want to pressure her and spoil it for both of us. Thanks for advice, I wont put any pressure on her and will hang in there, its well worth the wait.

Reply to Anonymous
Posted by: Anonymous | 2009/04/23

Hi there, I am a widow myself with 1 girl (going to my second year). I am dating a taking very slowly which usually causes problems between me and my partner.At times I just feel so guilty that she is not ready for that. Generally as a widow you need to take time to have closure to your previous partner, that what I always feel and at times I just keep a distance from my partner for no reason. It is bit difficult as it is, my advice to you is do not put pressure, only time will tel, but hang in there.

Reply to Anonymous

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