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Question
Posted by: Rose | 2010/02/06

Why? Men pls explain!

Im at my breaking point... My boyfriend of 8 years wants 2 leave me. Why? Cos if he stays with me he wont get the opportunity to sleep with other women. He says he stopped loving me because if he stays with me he wont get the choice to sleep with who he wants. Is it worth it? We' ve been each others one and onlys- we started dating when I was in Grade 10. I was hoping to get married but now its all shattered because he wants to play the field. Guys, don' t you want a girl like me? One who cooks and cleans and does your washing? One who lets you play playstation and go drinking with your buddies? Isnt that enough?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Well if that is his truly pathetic motive for leaving you - good riddance ! What a blessing you have been saved from continuing a relationship with someone so shallow, promiscuous and selfish ! It really doesn'tg sound as though he's been anyone's "one and only".
You sound like the sort of nice person many guys hope they'll meet. Don't regret losing this guy - sounds like he was never what he seemed, and would never have been the spouse you hoped for

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Our users say:
Posted by: Let it go | 2010/02/08

Let it go ...by T. D. Jakes

There are people who can walk away from you.
And hear me when I tell you this!
When people can walk away from you: let them walk.

I don' t want you to try to talk another person into staying with you,
loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you,
staying attached to you.
I mean hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk.
Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

People leave you because they are not joined to you.
And if they are not joined to you,
you can' t make them stay.
Let them go.

And it doesn’ t mean that they are a bad person 
it just means that their part in the story is over.
And you’ ve got to know when people’ s
part in your story is over so that you
don’ t keep trying to raise the dead.

You’ ve got to know when it’ s dead.
You’ ve got to know when it’ s over.
Let me tell you something.
I’ ve got the gift of good-bye.
It’ s the tenth spiritual gift 
I believe in good-bye.

It' s not that I' m hateful, it' s that I' m faithful,
and I know whatever God means for me to have
He' ll give it to me.
And if it takes too much sweat I don’ t need it.
Stop begging people to stay.
Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something
that doesn’ t belong to you and was never intended for your life 
then you need to … 
LET IT GO!!!


If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ...
LET IT GO!!!

If someone can’ t treat you right, love you back, and see your worth...
LET IT GO!!!

If someone has angered you ...
LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge… 
LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction ...
LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or
talents … 
LET IT GO!!!

If you have a bad attitude...
LET IT GO!!!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better...
LET IT GO!!!

If you’ re stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new
level in Him...
LET IT GO!!!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship...
LET IT GO!!!

If you keep trying to help someone who won’ t even try to help
themselves… 
LET IT GO!!!

If you’ re feeling depressed and stressed ...
LET IT GO!!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling
yourself and God is saying " take your hands off of it,"  then you need
to...
LET IT GO!!!




Let the past be the past.
Forget the former things.
GOD is doing a new thing for you !!!
LET IT GO!!!

Get Right or Get Left .. think about it, and then
LET IT GO!!!

Reply to Let it go
Posted by: Guy' s reply | 2010/02/08

You could never marry a guy like this cause he feels he has " un-finnished business" , you will have to leave him and move on cause he is already a lost cause, you will find someone that wants you and only you and when that day comes you will feel true joy and love and you will be happy you left this guy, he will come back to you a few months from now saying that he was wrong and you are all he wants because he will realize he was mistaken but it would be wrong to give him another chance cause he will cheat on you in the future. Free yourself to live a little and one day you will look back at this and laugh at him cause he will be the one that has lost.

Reply to Guy&#39 s reply
Posted by: Lisa | 2010/02/07

I once read a story almost similar to yours where a couple started dating when they were young and the guy had trouble committing to marriage because he was afraid he was going to cheat and he wasn' t sure if he really loves the woman since he has never been with anyone else. So they broke up, hoping to reconcile later, to give a guy a chance to go explore and be sure if he wants to be with this girl. In the end he realized what he felt for the girl was real and they got married. Years later they were happy.....

Reply to Lisa
Posted by: lovie | 2010/02/06

Leave him

Reply to lovie
Posted by: Wise Owl | 2010/02/06

What a despicable creep !! Oh you are FAR better off without a creature like that. Please, please just get away from him and get him out your life. You will meet someone who will treat you properly. Don' t put yourself down, please.

Reply to Wise Owl
Posted by: Shargal | 2010/02/06

women' s perspective.

Ur man is playing games,toying with ur feelings,he wants permission to fool around bring u aids then leave u while u sick.

He is not gonna leave u,instead he wants a break to f**k every women on da street then cum back to you.He' s taken ur luv 4 advantage nd has realised u think u wont survive without him.

I was also involved with a S.O.B like urs,i luvd him so much,i put up with his cheatn,lies,deceit untill i decided i am better of without him,we have been together 4 9yrs,i had nothing 2 show 4 it besides the heartbreak,dissapointment,low self esteem.

I decided to luv myself and move on,not easy,u will cry,want him back,forgive him then u will be set free.

Looking back now,i am thankful i left him then,hiv negative no baby,no strings attached.i met an A KIND HEARTED academic nd we share a baby boy.we only being 2geda 4 a year and a half nd lobola negotiations are on.Black men dnt usually marry long term galfriends instead they find younger gals believe me.

I SWEAR IF U SAY HE MUST,HE WILL EVENTUALLY COME CRAWLING BACK 2U.
LUV URSELF MORE DAN HIM

Reply to Shargal
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/02/06

Well if that is his truly pathetic motive for leaving you - good riddance ! What a blessing you have been saved from continuing a relationship with someone so shallow, promiscuous and selfish ! It really doesn'tg sound as though he's been anyone's "one and only".
You sound like the sort of nice person many guys hope they'll meet. Don't regret losing this guy - sounds like he was never what he seemed, and would never have been the spouse you hoped for

Reply to cybershrink

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