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Question
Posted by: Afraid | 2011/03/22

Why is this happening to me

This might sound like a very strange issue, but I am a successful 33 yo male. I have my own house, am completely independent. I have unfortunately been thrown off path when I got divorced after a 4 year marriage which she wanted as she said I was to driven and concentrated on work too much. I am not vain in any way, but take good care of myself, have a good build as I gym often and am a decent looking guy. I am afraid however when approached by woman that all they see is the outer and the material things instead of whats inside. This makes me not approach women at all, and when they approach me, i tend to withdraw. I really dont know what is happening to me. I even make excuses with my friends not to go out and have lost alot of friends because of it. Now i feel so alone, cant make new friends, cant approach people......

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I don't think it is awfully strange to be a successful 33 yo male. OK, unfortumnately you had a wife who wanted a lot of attention and apparently had few other interests, who was not prepared to tolerate your devotion to your career / business. See a counsellor to work on the specifics of what you are asking about. You don't necessarily have to reveal all the su[erficial asp[ects of yourself, and could meet women simply as the pleasant guy you are, being ambiguous about the rest of it.
The counselor could also work with you on what sounds like a lack of self-confidence and trust, maybe caused by the break-up with your ex,
If she really demands to know about the house and car etc early on, then she's a gold-digger and not worth considering for a serious relationship anyway.

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: Anon for this one | 2011/03/23

Like you am also a successful 30 year old divorcee.
We also know some man as gold diggers, hence we give them a chance. They come to drive my car, they have nithing, in the end they dont even respect me.

Hope all works out for you.

Reply to Anon for this one
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/03/23

I don't think it is awfully strange to be a successful 33 yo male. OK, unfortumnately you had a wife who wanted a lot of attention and apparently had few other interests, who was not prepared to tolerate your devotion to your career / business. See a counsellor to work on the specifics of what you are asking about. You don't necessarily have to reveal all the su[erficial asp[ects of yourself, and could meet women simply as the pleasant guy you are, being ambiguous about the rest of it.
The counselor could also work with you on what sounds like a lack of self-confidence and trust, maybe caused by the break-up with your ex,
If she really demands to know about the house and car etc early on, then she's a gold-digger and not worth considering for a serious relationship anyway.

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: DontbeAfraid | 2011/03/22

OK so you pretty much understand the meaning of the saying " dont judge a book by its cover"  and all that " its whats inside that counts"  stuff. Thats cool. Why afraid though my friend? You know you will eventually find the right person? Have fun with the ladies, dont get withdrawn, just enjoy yourself and most importantly JUST BE WHO YOU ARE.

You will find the right girl but you have to do some fishing to get the right catch. FIshing can be fun all on its own, lots of interesting creatures out there in the oceans of life!

Reply to DontbeAfraid

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