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Question
Posted by: Mpho | 2010/12/17

why does it still hurt

I went through a difficult time with a cheating partner. i was really hurt by someone i loved. he started mistreating me when i was pregnant with our child. he got himself other women who would call me and send me msgs from his phone, found him with a woman at some point...etc. In the end i left him as he was the source of stress in my life. I couldnt imagine myself being a single parent, it was just too scary, i just didnt know where to start, but i am doing it and i am perfectly fine. i love my baby to bits and would do anything for him, i pray God gives me a long life to see him prosper in life. I hardly think of my ex, i do not want him back, but why does it still make me cry when i have to talk about him and what he put me through? he sometimes calls appologising, telling me endless stupid stories, i handle that well, i do not even get emotional anymore when he calls, but when i have to relate the stories to someone else, it pains me, i still cry - though i think i have moved on from the pain. do you think i need counselling still?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sounds like he treated you disgracefully badly, and that though you apparently oloved him sincerely, he did not really ove you in return - nobody could treat the person they loved in that way, Why take his calls and listen to his excuses ? Make sure a court orders him to pay proper maintenance for the child ( for the child's benefit, and also to discourage him from doing something similar to anyone else ). Don't waste time listening to his stories - you know how unrealistic, insincere and unhelpful they are. Counselling, fime, if you really aren't managing to o this on your own, but you may well manage independently

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: Fishy | 2010/12/22

I know this feeling. I cry too. Only, I know why I cry. I cry because I was so stupid, because I was cheated on, abused, and most of all for " what could have been" 

Reply to Fishy
Posted by: Shameless | 2010/12/18

U cry bcos u are not over the emotional pain he caused u.Yes, u are over him but u are not over the pain. U may cry sometimes bcos u fail to understand why someone u loved so much, who also claimed to love u right back, would hurt u like he did.
Only seek counselling if u really feel u cant get over the pain on ur own.

Reply to Shameless
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/12/18

Sounds like he treated you disgracefully badly, and that though you apparently oloved him sincerely, he did not really ove you in return - nobody could treat the person they loved in that way, Why take his calls and listen to his excuses ? Make sure a court orders him to pay proper maintenance for the child ( for the child's benefit, and also to discourage him from doing something similar to anyone else ). Don't waste time listening to his stories - you know how unrealistic, insincere and unhelpful they are. Counselling, fime, if you really aren't managing to o this on your own, but you may well manage independently

Reply to cybershrink

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