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Question
Posted by: Heather | 2010/02/04

Why do people like messing with other’ s feelings?


I don’ t get it. What pleasure cold they possibly get out of it? And to be so elaborate about it too, involving your business and personal life to make it seem more real? Don’ t’  they care that another person could get hurt? Left disappointed and depressed? How are you supposed to comfort someone who was the victim of another’ s sadism? Now I’ m talking about my husband, he’ s done the best he could considering his parent did the bare minimum for him (and gave his ungrateful sister the world). He’ s done good, considering. But he deep down he feels useless because his parents never gave him a shot, even from when he was small. They didn’ t pay attention to him the way tey did his sister, never help him in the same way, nothing. So he feels stupid but he tries and he’ s a great person inside. Then this idiot comes along, offers him a great job, with great opportunities and my poor hubby gets so excited. He phones the guy to make arrangements to see him…  but the guy doesn’ t answer. Three calls and two days later, this moron asks my husband if he’ s changed his mind about working for him. Hubby explains that he tried to call him 3 times and this guy says, “ oh, sorry I left my phone in the car” . Really. But they made arrangements, introduced hubby to his family, shows him the work premises, the flat offered as part of the position, promises to send through the proposal on Monday (as he wanted hubby to work for him as of the 1st March and he has to give a months notice). Monday. Nothing. Tuesday. Nothing. Wednesday, hubby tries to call him. Nothing. Tries to call on the landline number on the website today, gets told it’ s a private number- not a business number. Still nothing. Why do people do that? The guy may be busy but have the common decency to call back, answer your phone, BE HONEST!!!!! WHY?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Well, if you don't allow them to do so - if you do NOT allow whatever they do to noticeably afefct your feelings, it'll be too boring for them to continue
But the sitation you describe with your husband and his sad background, can be helped by therapy, IF the person recognizes thaty's needed, and works well with the therapist.
But the exprience you describe with this possible employer, would make one re-think whether any job would be worth i, working with such a silly, careless, thoughtless idiot

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Vrye Denker | 2010/02/04

What if your husband gets the job, but at the end of the month, when pay day comes, the man again disappears and doesn' t answer his phone, etc? Jobs are too scarce, rather stick to what you have for now. And tell your man to get over his mommy issues and grow up. Unfortunately the world doesn' t care and it is very hostile towards weakness. I didn' t make it this way, but as soon as I realised I can' t change certain things, my life became much easier. I used to feel the same as your husband. You don' t owe the world anything and neither does it owe you anything.

Reply to Vrye Denker
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/02/04

Well, if you don't allow them to do so - if you do NOT allow whatever they do to noticeably afefct your feelings, it'll be too boring for them to continue
But the sitation you describe with your husband and his sad background, can be helped by therapy, IF the person recognizes thaty's needed, and works well with the therapist.
But the exprience you describe with this possible employer, would make one re-think whether any job would be worth i, working with such a silly, careless, thoughtless idiot

Reply to cybershrink

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