Our expert says:
Sad, isn't it. But in any family where you feel you have to struggle to get "the attention", that attention isn't worth having.
If she, pathetically feels she needs to steal your thunder, how desperate ( for thunder ) she must me.
I know it's not easy for you to realize this right now, but you have absolutely no need for "the family to feel happy for me" - the weding should be about you and your man feeling happy for and about yourselves and each other.
Presumably your actual wedding will take place before hers ? Anyway, even that doesn't matter, so long as it's a distinctly different time.
Those other nasty and selfish people have no power whatsoever over your happiness, except for whatever power you choose to give them. Give them none.
Caro's idea of an elopement sounds interesting - it'd grab their attention without actually asking for any. And what could she then do to compete - elope too, but go further away ?
Congratulations on your engagement. Have a happy marriage, for your own sakes, and let your sister learn crochet
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