Posted by: Joe dunno what to do... | 2010-12-23


Hi All,

I''m really struggling here. What am I doing wrong? I can''t seem to get more than two or three dates when I go out with a woman...

I''m really not sure what i''m doing wrong. I recently went out on a double date, after the second one, there was no more :( I even asked my friend what I did wrong, and as he so rightly pointed out, nothing...

I always think I say the wrong things or do the wrong things... but i''m not. Is it ''cos of the type of woman that i''m going after? Is it me?

I hardly ever go in for a kiss on the first date. I tend to just take it easy and let the conversation flow. I walk the girl to her car or drop her off at her place, if the moment is right, i''ll go for a kiss, if not, I just leave it till next time. While we are leaving, i''ll usually set up like another date - like say dinner or something like that (that''s more intimate than the first date - which will then hopefully lead to a kiss)...

The next day i''ll text the girl saying I had a great time and will speak to her soon about the next date.

Usually that''s when it ends. If i call again, it goes to voicemail or something like that or we may go out and i''ll get the friend sms after the third date - you know, " I like you, as a friend" ... I have my response down to a T as how to reply to it.

I don''t come across as being desperate, i''ve asked my friends, they''ve confirmed it. It''s just emotionally and financially draining - I pay on the dates.

Am I just a meal ticket or what? I''m doing pretty well for myself, i''m 27, a young professional guy, well educated, I have just bought my own property and drive a nice car - i''ll add that I don''t talk about these things on a date, unless i''m asked. I''ll talk about her life and herself!

What am I doing wrong? Please don''t say it''s the type of girl that i''m meeting. I meet girls in the situations that i''m in - house parties, clubs even online...

So what must I do?

Joe dunno what to do

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Doesn't sound like you're doing anything wrong, but I'm no expert in romantic etiquette. I doubt that the problem lies in you.

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Our users say:
Posted by: oh no | 2010-12-23

Mistake no.1: trying to figure out what''s wrong with you. It''s not you. The dating game can be a tiring one, and you have to keep on trying. You''ve got to hold out for the right one.

And offer to go dutch when you go out for a meal, that''ll weed out the " users"  so fast their heads will spin! You might get less dates, however, the ones you get will have more of a chance of being for real.

Have you heard the story of the boy trying to catch the butterfly, he chases and chases and just as he gets close everytime the butterfly flutters away. However, when he sits down and occupies himself with other things, the butterfly eventually comes to him and gently sits on his shoulder.

Patience is the key word my friend. If you want quality. And we all deserve the best, you''re only 27, practise a little patience for now.

Good luck  -)

Reply to oh no
Posted by: 12 | 2010-12-23

u just havent met the right person
u have to kiss a lot of frogs.................

Reply to 12
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-12-23

Doesn't sound like you're doing anything wrong, but I'm no expert in romantic etiquette. I doubt that the problem lies in you.

Reply to cybershrink

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