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Question
Posted by: Mfezi | 2009-10-21

WHY ARE PEOPLE GAY? WHAT MAKES ONE GAY?

Dear Doc

I am openly gay, but I have issues regarding this. Can you please explain to me why people are gay or bi or straight?
Where does homosexuality come from? Is it a bad childhood, via child molestation, genes, or what? Is there any scientific research that proves gay is ok?

And another thing: is being gay really as wrong as the general public makes it out to be? I am in for loosing my job that I truely cherish and love due to the fact that I' m gay. (I work at a church as the leader of the music ministry). They figured out that I am gay and now they want me out. Is it wrong to be gay then? I really want to understand this so that I can make peace with this.

Also, why is it so very " wrong"  in the public' s eye to be gay? I didn' t choose it to be gay. (Who would, if one knew what hell lies ahead of you!) How can I deal with this question?

Thank you,

Mfezi

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

There is an increasing amount of research to show that sexual orientation is present from birth and related to pre=-natal factors, such as relative concentrations of various hormones. It is not a choice anyone makes ( though of course one can choose what one wishes to do about it or how one wishes to express one's orientation). Genes seem less important, and childhood experiences don't seem to change one;'s orientation, though depending on what they are, they could influence how one expresses one's orientation, or how one behaves.
Whether being gay is "OK", Right or Wrong, cant be answwered by research it's a matter of opinion. Murder is definitely not OK, but we don't use research to prove that.
As I understand the constitution and current law in SA ( and a number of other countries ) it is not allowed for any employer to discriminate against an employee on the basis of sexual orientation. See a friendly lawyer. I seem to remember a similar recent SA case, which the Church eventually lost.
Gay or straight, no employer should discriminate against you for your orientation and interests - some forms of behaviour, gay or straight, could potentially be objectionable, but that's not the same thing

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2009-10-22

There is an increasing amount of research to show that sexual orientation is present from birth and related to pre=-natal factors, such as relative concentrations of various hormones. It is not a choice anyone makes ( though of course one can choose what one wishes to do about it or how one wishes to express one's orientation). Genes seem less important, and childhood experiences don't seem to change one;'s orientation, though depending on what they are, they could influence how one expresses one's orientation, or how one behaves.
Whether being gay is "OK", Right or Wrong, cant be answwered by research it's a matter of opinion. Murder is definitely not OK, but we don't use research to prove that.
As I understand the constitution and current law in SA ( and a number of other countries ) it is not allowed for any employer to discriminate against an employee on the basis of sexual orientation. See a friendly lawyer. I seem to remember a similar recent SA case, which the Church eventually lost.
Gay or straight, no employer should discriminate against you for your orientation and interests - some forms of behaviour, gay or straight, could potentially be objectionable, but that's not the same thing

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