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Question
Posted by: Anonymous | 2009/06/17

Why are men so unforgiving

I lied to my boyfriend and told him i wud stop seeing this guy i was friends with (since before i knew him) . i did it for peace sake cos i knew if i dnt agree the argument would' ve gone on.(its been an ongoing issue in our realtionship) i also know for a fact that the female friends he said he would stop associating withe he still sees. but that is not the issue. he has ended the relationship beacuse of my lie and feels betrayed. he is absolutely convinced i was having an affair wiht this guy which is not true. I was wrong for lying and when he confronted me about it i was arrogant in my response. I cannot understand how he can end it because of somthign as silly as this without even hearing my side especially after everythign i have forgiven him thru. yes a lie is serious but this is hardly enuff (well for me)how do i make him see sense? do i ask my friend to call him and reassure him? would that work.His friends say i should give him space but i cant shake the feelign that this is really the end.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Se a couples / relatonship counsellor together, as it seems you have similar issues in hanging on to past relationships and worying about the other's past relationships. Why do you need to keep seeing this other guy ? Insurance, in case this relationship doesn't work out ? Or why ? Give him a while to setle down his ruffled feathers, and sugegst couinsellign for the benefit of both of you. Or move on, on your own, towards a less blemished relationship

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Our users say:
Posted by: Anonymous | 2015/10/08

+Eolathin, I hope your significant other lies to you and you get your own words shoved back down your throat. It's not about being secure in your faith of your boyfriend/girlfriend; it's about honesty, which men seem to value more than you do. OP, you lied and your boyfriend refused to put up with it. Cry me a river.

Reply to Anonymous
Posted by: Jones | 2009/06/18

if you lied to him in that you are no longer seeing this friend of yours cud you really blame him for thinking that , that he is just a friend is another lie. I cudn' t blame him. If this friendship was really important to you lying wouldn' t have been an option coz it would eventually come out again that he still is. If i were you i wud make every attempt to get thru to him and make him understand that between you and your friend there is nothing to hide, it is pure friendship that he is free to prove you wrong if he so wishes. To just say he is an idiot and move on will always keep you on the road coz most men think further than just that lie that you will have passed and think the worst about you. Could sound stupid but yes it happens in real life.

Reply to Jones
Posted by: Eolathin | 2009/06/17

He sounds like an insecure idiot. There is no way in hell I would give up a friendship (with a man or a woman) that is older than my relationship for anything. He should sort out his issues, and you should say good riddance!!

Reply to Eolathin
Posted by: Anonymous | 2009/06/17

He refuses to talk to me at all. or see me.

Reply to Anonymous
Posted by: Anonymous | 2009/06/17

you need to talk to him calmly and honestly..
and work out if you 2 are really suited for a happy relationship.

Reply to Anonymous

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