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Question
Posted by: Nikki | 2012-02-22

WHY AM I LIKE THIS?

I have a friend who lives abroad and we have been communicating with each other for a few weeks via email. Last week I was really annoyed with him when he took too long to respond to a message (ridiculous I know ....) We had an argument and he has since then just ignored me, no response to my emails etc. I have apologised to him, yet he does not accept my apology. Should I just let him be for a while or send him an email apologising again? I am at my wits'' end, I really enjoy chatting to him and I miss our interaction. His birthday is coming up in early March. Should I wait until then to send him a message wishing him well and also then apologise again, or should I just ignore him as he is ignoring me. I find it extremely childish to ignore someone and would not do that to him if the roles were reversed. I must mention that I was having an extremely stressful and emotional week when it happened. He also has a very pressurised job and the time difference (9 hours) makes it very difficult for us to communicate any other way and I know that, but I was in a bad place last week and was very unreasonable towards him.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I find this an increasing problem with e-mail, SMS, twitter and so on - just because its easy to contact each other often, some of us get far too bothered and angry when people don't respond quickly. Remember that not long ago, if you wanted to communicate with a friend abroad, unless you'd want to pay for an extremely expensive phone call, you'd have to write a letter, which took 2 weeks or more to get there, and if he replied as soon as he could, at least 2 weeks to return the reply to you. Anything under a month and you felt special and lucky !
Unfortunate that you had an argument about something so trivial. Usually its best to leave time for the other person to stop sulking. Hus upcoming birthday should provide a good excuse for a fresh message, a short apology, and to see if he responds then. If he doesn't, leave it open. Remember, he does have a very high-pressure job, and even if willing to contact you, may not have the time for a rapid response

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Nikki | 2012-02-23

Thanks Doc !

Reply to Nikki
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012-02-22

I find this an increasing problem with e-mail, SMS, twitter and so on - just because its easy to contact each other often, some of us get far too bothered and angry when people don't respond quickly. Remember that not long ago, if you wanted to communicate with a friend abroad, unless you'd want to pay for an extremely expensive phone call, you'd have to write a letter, which took 2 weeks or more to get there, and if he replied as soon as he could, at least 2 weeks to return the reply to you. Anything under a month and you felt special and lucky !
Unfortunate that you had an argument about something so trivial. Usually its best to leave time for the other person to stop sulking. Hus upcoming birthday should provide a good excuse for a fresh message, a short apology, and to see if he responds then. If he doesn't, leave it open. Remember, he does have a very high-pressure job, and even if willing to contact you, may not have the time for a rapid response

Reply to cybershrink

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