Our expert says:
Seeing a counsellor would be a really good idea and a wise investment. Don't give up, as things are certainly not as bad as they feel or seem to you. It really sounds as though you may have become significantly depressed, and needing proper skilled treatment for that.
Sad that your first love was for a rotten abuser - that says horrible things about him, but NOT about you.
Of course suicide would be an awful thing for your mnother and anyone else who cares for you. But also, as the cliche goes, it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem, and solves nothing.
Do arange to see a proper psychiatrist for a full assessment and a discussion of your treatment options which should include counselling as well as medication.
Kate's suggestions are sensible and helpful. Think them over carefully. And consider becoming involved in charity / NGO and other such groups, not to find a mate but to gain friends and pals, and get to know other people better.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal
advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.