Our expert says:
"confrontation " has become peculiarly fashionable, recommended usually by naive quacks who don't understand human psychology. Obviously, there are occasions when confrontatiopns are necessary, but far less commonly than most people seem nowadays to think.
However, in a situation such as you describe, you obviously need to discuss this with her.
But you have run into another inevitable conundrum. You may be suspicious, and have your suspicions denied. But when you use sneaky methods to find eidence, you are then stuck with the problem that you can only use such evidence by revealing the sneaky way you obtained it.
I don't know the way round that, as I'm usually not clever enough to be sneaky.
YOu could reveal what you know, and how - and try to stop her switching the discussion to her outrage at you geting into her Faebook section. Maybe one could approach it by asking why any wife or husband who is being honest and faithful would ever need to have a secret place on the web to which their spouse does not have free access ( I can't think of any honest reason for doing so ) - and calmly challenge her to access that web-page and show you how innocent it is.
Of course you could inform the other man that you dont appreciate his attgention to your wife ( with or without revealing how mch you know, and how you know it ) , and/or to notify his girlfriend.
The resuts of each of these actions are largely unpredictable, especially where they involve people you don't know very well.
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