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Question
Posted by: Cheyenne | 2010/03/15

Where do I begin?

I have recently broken up with my boyfriend of 7 years, I am 6 months pregnant &  have a 2 year old lil girl, he was my 1st and only boyfriend. He is emotionally abusive and on very rare occassions, physically. I have a degree in psychology and am starting to believe he is bipolar, he honestly believes that I am the reason for all the downfall and I provoke him, I know he believes it he is convinced of it, it doesn''t seem like just things he says to get me upset. How do I start to let go of my feeings for him, and how do I get him to seek help, as he feels I am the one that needs help. The things he says to me, are extremely hurtful yet I can''t let go of him, I can''t bare the thought of him happy with someone else. My family &  friends cannot stand him for obvious reasons. Please help me I don''t know if I am emotional or hurting.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

He may or may not have bipolar disorder, which may well be helped by proper expert treatment from a psychiatrist, but that does not excuse abusiveness in any form, and is not a feature of the condition.
If he does not take personal responsibility for his choices and behaviours, and their effects, he will not be open to help.
You can deal with your own problems with a therapist / counsellor of your own, and dotn't paint yourself into a corner by extreme statements like "I can't let go of him". If needed, you CAN, even if you have not yet found the way to do so.
You are emotional and hurting, and emotionally hurting - get proper help for it yourself. Maybe if he sees you can improve with help, he might become more interested in seeking help for himself.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

4
Our users say:
Posted by: nols | 2010/03/30

if you have a degree then why not use your common sense,this guy is an asshole and the sooner you get him out of your life the better

Reply to nols
Posted by: Happiness | 2010/03/15

I guess the idea that he was your first and only boyfriend makes it harder to let him go. You tend to believe he is the only man for you, and girl the excuses you are making for his bad behavior are amazing. As much as possible you want to paint a not so bad picture of him.
All you need is time and a positive attitude to heal, the man is replacable. He found you whole and you will be whole after he''s gone.

Reply to Happiness
Posted by: cheyenne | 2010/03/15

thank you

Reply to cheyenne
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/03/15

He may or may not have bipolar disorder, which may well be helped by proper expert treatment from a psychiatrist, but that does not excuse abusiveness in any form, and is not a feature of the condition.
If he does not take personal responsibility for his choices and behaviours, and their effects, he will not be open to help.
You can deal with your own problems with a therapist / counsellor of your own, and dotn't paint yourself into a corner by extreme statements like "I can't let go of him". If needed, you CAN, even if you have not yet found the way to do so.
You are emotional and hurting, and emotionally hurting - get proper help for it yourself. Maybe if he sees you can improve with help, he might become more interested in seeking help for himself.

Reply to cybershrink

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