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Question
Posted by: L30n | 2010-09-04

Where am i going to in life?

I have never stayed longed than 2 years in one town when I lived with my parents. At the age of 17 we moved again, I was sad and frustrated to join a new school so my parents took me out of school to help them in businesses they had. Years went by, I helped them, never got paid –  only got empty promises. At the age of 22 I begged my parents to help me study and just got more empty promises. At the age of 26 I noticed that I’ m not getting help and I need to move away from them and start my own thing - to get some where in life. I ended up getting work at a technical call centre as an agent since I only had ST.8 and a computer back ground. I’ m 29, still feel 17 years old and feel I should have been more in life, further or have accomplished more. Standing with friends that have gone to university, telling them that you’ re a call centre agent is embarrassing. I want to study further  I’ m very interested in marine biology but feel I might be too old to study it. I know I should be grateful and I am for what I have but I want to go forward. I think I’ m stuck and angry about my parents not thinking about me and I want to make up for lost time with a career that I can enjoy doing while making good money, something I can work and build on. The problem is I don’ t know where to start. I did test with the psychologist, which basically said I should work with people at all but in today’ s life you work with people no matter what you do so the test did not help me at all. Where to do my matric, am I to old to do marine biology? will I like it? why am I still stuck in the past? Why do I still feel like a 17 year old even though I’ m suppose to feel like a man? I’ m tiring myself out, making myself depressed thinking about it the whole time… 

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Maybe they thought they were doing the right thing, but they were exploiting you, and failing in their duties to enable you to prepare yourself optimally for life.
Anyhow, now you're in charge of things yourself. Have you made detailed enquiries about ading to your education to reach matric ? Which would be the minimum needed if you want to go to university. Most courses should then be open to you.
As to marine biology, apart from the qualification, have you asked at a university which runs such courses, both what they'd want for admission, but also what sort of jobs get done, how many openings there are, realistically ; and could you visit with some marine biologist to see what they do and if it is actually what you might enjoy ? ( Far better than going through a long course only to discover too late that youn hate the work it leads you to ).
And seeing a counsellor could be a wise invetiment, to, espwecially one of the CBT form rather than one of the woolier types - you may well feel you missed out on the fun of schooling and being a kid, because you got put to work prematurely. And you are potentially making the mistake of wasting time in the present ( when you could be actively changing your situation ) brooding about the past, which you can't change.

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5
Our users say:
Posted by: You can | 2010-09-05

I''m 36, only had std8 and lots of experince. Studied via a correspondence college and now about to get a NQF6 Managerial quilfication. Matric is only NQF3, and NQF6 is similart to some Unifersity qualifications. My point, you CAN do it, and you are not too old!

Reply to You can
Posted by: Maria | 2010-09-04

Oh, and I also wanted to add... don''t get stuck on the idea of an academic qualification, or even an " academic"  type job. Given the rates that people like plumbers and appliance repair people charge for their time I think those can be lucrative careers. We need a mind-shift in SA about the more " menial"  jobs - they''re not inferior at all.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: Maria | 2010-09-04

I find that traditional test based career counselling is often not really very helpful. Get yourself a book called " What colour is your parachute"  by Richard Bolles. It''s a very different way of looking at what you want from a career and how to get there. Then just start studying. You can easily finish matric through a distance learning college. You may even be accepted for some tertiary courses without having matric, based on your age and work experience. It''s never too late. I started studying psychology at the age of 30. Next year I will be turning 40 and getting my BA degree. A whole lot of stuff happened in my life in the interim, one could complete a parttime BA much faster than that. So while you come from a unsatisfactory past, there is no reason why you should also have an unsatisfactory future. Good luck!

Reply to Maria
Posted by: L30n | 2010-09-04

even i should NOT work with people at all...

Reply to L30n
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-09-04

Maybe they thought they were doing the right thing, but they were exploiting you, and failing in their duties to enable you to prepare yourself optimally for life.
Anyhow, now you're in charge of things yourself. Have you made detailed enquiries about ading to your education to reach matric ? Which would be the minimum needed if you want to go to university. Most courses should then be open to you.
As to marine biology, apart from the qualification, have you asked at a university which runs such courses, both what they'd want for admission, but also what sort of jobs get done, how many openings there are, realistically ; and could you visit with some marine biologist to see what they do and if it is actually what you might enjoy ? ( Far better than going through a long course only to discover too late that youn hate the work it leads you to ).
And seeing a counsellor could be a wise invetiment, to, espwecially one of the CBT form rather than one of the woolier types - you may well feel you missed out on the fun of schooling and being a kid, because you got put to work prematurely. And you are potentially making the mistake of wasting time in the present ( when you could be actively changing your situation ) brooding about the past, which you can't change.

Reply to cybershrink

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