Our expert says:
Congratulations on having made the tough but necessary decision to physically get out of an abusive relationship. But you don't sound as though you have also allowed yourself to move out psychologically.
He has moved on more easily because obviously, he doesn't give a damn - about you, or any other women in his life, probably about any other person in his life. YOu have lost less than you are assuming. If the "friends" were his, and didn't support you and remain friendly, then they were never actually friends at all - how much better to make new, real, friends that don't know him or carwe about him.
Don't assume he's happy. though he will try hard to make it look that way with you. His felings are probably superficial and all self-centered, now as always.
By allowing yourself to remain fruitlessly angry about it, you tie yourself to him with bonds of bitterness, rather than setting yourself free.
There's a wise old Buddhist story of the pair of monks who were travelling on foot between monasteries. Halfway there, they met a pretty young woman who was stuck at a very muddy patch in the road, for fear of getting filthy in the mud and ruining her clothes. The one young monk dithered, but the other one oofered to help, and when the lady agreed, he swept her up and carried her across the large muddy patch. Then he put her down, wished her a good day, and went on with his journey. The other young monk was silent and seething all afternoon. When that eening they finally got to the next monastery, the older monk asked him what was wrong, and he burst out in anger " "How disgracweful that was - you know we're not supposed to even touch a woman at all, and there you carried her in your arms !"
The older monk smiled. "Yes" he said, but I put her down on the other side of the mud patch - you've been carrying her with you all afternoon".
Leave the abuser behind in the mud. Put him down. Moving on is free for you to do when you let go and stop dragging him with you.
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