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Question
Posted by: SHE | 2010/12/05

When is it time to give up?

6 years and although im the one raising his kids and spending all the time with them because he works 7 days a week i am " not their mother"  ?
6 years and they want to go somewhere i only find out when i notice they don''t come home after school?
6 years and he still comes and goes as he pleases without notification to me in any form?
6 years and im still not sure he even loves me?
6 years and i have no say in my step children''s life because i " am not their mother" ? i just live with their father?
6 years of raising them, feeding them, taxi''ing them, loving them and caring for them, yet i am never consulted in decisions about where they go, who with etc?
i''ll miss a child and be told oh an aunt came to pick her up for whatever, no one thinks its strange that i, me THE MOTHER OF THIS HOUSE have not been told.
I always have issues im told
how can you just let a 12 year old child go sleep out for an whole weekend and then further agree to 2 nights in the week without telling me? without knowing the people she''s going to? without having their phone numbers?
but i have issues
when do you just give up?
when have you had enough?
when do you realize YOU DONT MATTER

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

You DO matter, very much so. Just not to the selfish and exploiting little man you are with. It does sound as though he doesn't love you, but through no fault of yours - I wonder if he genuinely loves anyone other than himself.
What you describe is, of course, highly disrespectful of you - but actually, even if they like it, disrespectful of the actual needs of the kids. Not providing proper discipline and organization in the lives of the kids and their carers is abusive, to my mind. And what you describe is certainly neglectful and not of benefit to the kids.
Why do you choose to stay with someone who treates you so badly ? He treats you as an unpaid servant, and so long as you accept that, the situation will not change

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

4
Our users say:
Posted by: Question | 2010/12/06

Are u 2 married

Reply to Question
Posted by: Lin | 2010/12/05

I agree with Maria. Sounds as if they''re using you. It sounds as if you are nothing but a glorified nanny and housekeeper.

You need to discuss this with him in a calm way and a couple''s counsellor can help you with it - IF you want to go ahead with the relationship.

IF you feel that you''ve had enough - get out! Get out of this using and abusing relationship - I would have!

Reply to Lin
Posted by: Maria | 2010/12/05

Of course you matter, but clearly not to the man you''re with. It sounds as if you are just an unpaid nanny with benefits to him. Get out, you deserve better.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/12/05

You DO matter, very much so. Just not to the selfish and exploiting little man you are with. It does sound as though he doesn't love you, but through no fault of yours - I wonder if he genuinely loves anyone other than himself.
What you describe is, of course, highly disrespectful of you - but actually, even if they like it, disrespectful of the actual needs of the kids. Not providing proper discipline and organization in the lives of the kids and their carers is abusive, to my mind. And what you describe is certainly neglectful and not of benefit to the kids.
Why do you choose to stay with someone who treates you so badly ? He treats you as an unpaid servant, and so long as you accept that, the situation will not change

Reply to cybershrink

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