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Question
Posted by: Concerned | 2009/08/24

When he chooses to fall asleep on couch vs bed.

Hi
My bf &  I have been in a relationsship for just over 3 years.Have been living together for 2.

The last 2 months he started falling asleep on the couch as he is tired &  actually deserves a holiday but is unable to take time off.

The problem that I am concerned about is that I can' t get him to wake up to go to the bed eventually.After an hour of trying to wake him he then awakens but then willhe say nasty stuff because I irritated him.Obviously trying Everything to get him to wake up.

It' s now where I just leave him there &  in the very early mornings then he will eventually wake up &  come to bed.

This is starting to happen more often like 3/4times a week.

Is this normal?Is this healthy in a relations because I have spoken to him about it &  he doesn' t see what' s the problem.

I even tried phoning him with his cell right next to him 10 times at once &  he still doesn' t wake up.

Should I even be concerned because I am frustrate
because by the time I get him to bed, I am No longer tired &  lie awake all night or can' t sleep because he is not next to me....

Maybe this is a silly question but I don' t know what to do.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

There are few silly questions ; maybe more silly answers.
Now, what you describe is part of the usual variations in sleep patterns. It might be more comfortable for him when h starts feeling so drowsy to go to bed earlier, but many of us underestimate how drowsy we are, and think we can just last through to the end of a show ---m only to wake and wonder what happened to the characters, and realize we've missed an hour or two.
Why do you see it as YOUR responsibility to get him to bed, rather than his ?
As PA says, maybe move the TV to the bedroom, and watch TV there.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Purple | 2009/08/25

My husband does this too - but only partly because he' s tired and partly because he drinks too much.

I just leave him on the couch. In 12 years, it hasn' t improved at all, and is worse when he' s stressed.

What irritates me more though is that he will go to bed without locking up the house and will then blame me for not doing it as he says that he went to bed first (um, he went to couch actually).

It' s not going to change. Decide whether you are willing to put up with it or not, if so, live with it, if not, leave or kick him out - depending on how you own the property.

Reply to Purple
Posted by: CP MOM | 2009/08/25

Mine has been doing it forever and we' ve been together for 5 years. It won' t " go over"  it will just continue.

I' ve learned to go to bed alone and live with it. It' s nice but what else can one do if they refuse to come to bed when they are tired?

Reply to CP MOM
Posted by: CP MOM | 2009/08/25

Mine has been doing it forever and we' ve been together for 5 years. It won' t " go over"  it will just continue.

I' ve learned to go to bed alone and live with it. It' s nice but what else can one do if they refuse to come to bed when they are tired?

Reply to CP MOM
Posted by: PA | 2009/08/25

Maybe he' s really too tired and a little lazy to go to bed after watching TV. One thing you could suggest is you move the TV to your room. But, honestly, I think you' re worrying too much. To call his phone and all your attempts to wake him up.. That' s a little silly. If he goes to bed in the middle of the night, it means you are not the reason why he doesn' t fall asleep in bed anymore. Don' t make a big problem out of nothing. Talk to him, if you like, but remember that if he' s tired, he probably needs a little more time for himself and you need to be a little more patient.

Reply to PA

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