Our expert says:
Dear gillian, I'm so sorry to hear about this.
I'm sure the counsellor you saw tried her best, but you probably need to see someone more experienced and with more effective techniques, such as a psychotherapist providing CBT, Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy. This can help you regain control of unpleasant and unhelpful thoughts, and to work through your grief in memory of the child you lost, and for the benefit of the child you have.
There may be sound reasons for terminating a pregnancy, inluding mercy for the child that might be born with severe handicaps - but that doesnt prevent a sincere parent from feeling grief and even guilt at having made even a sensible decision about this. The bad feelings ar probably a compound opf such issues and the whole idea of perhaps not havin g another child at all.
YOu probably will sart to feel better a some stage, but that stage will be reached sooner and with benefits to you and your child and husband, with the help of a CBT therapist
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