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Question
Posted by: Tired | 2008/10/07

Whats wrong with me?

My 1st ' serious'  relationship, we ended up going overseas together. He ended up cheating on me, and giving away and selling all my things to people while I went home for a holiday. We had been together for a year and a half. 8months later I meet someone else, we ended up staying together for 5years, he was hooked on drugs, abused me physically and mentally and getting away from him was the best thing I ever did, I realize that now.
A whole year later, I met someone else, and we ended up having a baby together. He has turned into an alcoholic since we have been together, going out and hanging out with lots of strange woman and we have split up now, I am raising our child alone.

What is the reason for these failed relationships? I always tend to go for these types, even though at the time of meeting and getting to know them they are not this way. They dont seem capable of doing such terrible things.
In a way I am wondering if it is because of me, that I have driven these men to reach the point they have and drink, or drug, or get violent, or cheat.
I have had my heart broken so many times now, and gotten to such emotional lows because of these men. I have no faith in myself as a person or someone that can be loved anymore. Love must be something that happens to other people. I dont think I can ever allow someone else to come into my life ever again. Especially now that I have a child.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Not only lousy manners, but if he gave away and sold things belonging to you, that was criminal theft, as well. Anyhow, you have been unfortunate in your choice of men who exploit and abuse you. Maybe part of the problem is that you committed yourself to quickly, in living with them, giving them access to your stuff, even getting pregnant by one, BEFORE you really knew them. There was sense in our parents ways of expecting you to spend time getting to know someone before making yourself so vulnerable ton them. Don't give your heart away so cheaply. But don't draw the wrong conclusions --- its not that you are unloveable --- of course you can be and should be loved --- but you chose to link to men who loved only themselves. Maybe seing a counsellor would hep you get this into perspective and to draw more accurate and useful conclusions from your experiences

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