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Question
Posted by: Carmen | 2010-02-05

What you do to me...

I wish that you would at least try. You can’ t even begin to understand how it feels, even though I’ ve explained it to you millions of times. I feel so hopeless and frustrated and lonely because you are supposed to be the one person who is there for me, but you are the one person that causes me the most heart-ache. I know I’ m partly in the wrong, but when you don’ t listen and you don’ t understand and you don’ t care I reach this point of frustration and anger because you SHOULD understand and you SHOULD care that I just explode! I just can’ t handle the fact that after all my explanations and all my trying, you STILL don’ t get it! I just can’ t handle the fact that you aren’ t even bothered in TRYING to understand. So I explode. And I go crazy and I scream and shout and bash on things and I feel stupid and pathetic that I reach that point where I just lose control…  just because you don’ t listen. I love you so much, you’ ve told me how much you love me so how can you be so cold? How can you tell me now that you don’ t love me? You’ d rather move out than try? That it’ s all my fault? After 7 years, you’ d rather chicken out instead of try? I have so many questions for you that you refuse to answer. Why? Don’ t’  you have anything for me at all? Why would you rather leave me to suffer and cry than just give me the answers I need?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

What I do to you ? Little me ? madam, we have not even met.
I'm guessing ( I do hope I'm right ) that this is a copy of a message you sent to someone who has been very hurtful to you ?
From the sound of it, part of your problem may be that youi have trapped yourself within a bunch of expectations and suppositions - that he SHOULD do this or that, and therefore MUST do this or that. It's what we in the trade call MUSTerbating.
Check the constitution nowhere does it sy he MUSt do these things. You WANT him to do so, you hope he will, you expect him to but it's up to him whether he does or does not. YOu make yourself vulnerable by creating such unrealistic expectations, and by doing it this way, you give away so much of your power to someone else, who gains the power to make you feel awful, so easily.
Whatever all this is about, you WANT those answers, but the glorious secret is that you don't NEED them ! You're not stupid, or pathetic or weak unles uyou insist on giving someone else the power to make you thus.
See a counsellor of the CBT form, to regain your self-respect and confidence, and realize your real potential

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

4
Our users say:
Posted by: synergy | 2010-02-05

dramaqueen much?

Reply to synergy
Posted by: Truth | 2010-02-05

Sorry for laughing but you crack me up with your first line there CS..

Im with CS there, why did you give away your control power so much to someone? Surely he doesnt care anymore and as hard as it is, you need to move on and claim your power back, and never ever again make that same mistake in future.

All the best.

Reply to Truth
Posted by: ... | 2010-02-05

Life is all about choice. Marriage, relationships, etc are simple but it is we that complicate them...

Reply to ...
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-02-05

What I do to you ? Little me ? madam, we have not even met.
I'm guessing ( I do hope I'm right ) that this is a copy of a message you sent to someone who has been very hurtful to you ?
From the sound of it, part of your problem may be that youi have trapped yourself within a bunch of expectations and suppositions - that he SHOULD do this or that, and therefore MUST do this or that. It's what we in the trade call MUSTerbating.
Check the constitution nowhere does it sy he MUSt do these things. You WANT him to do so, you hope he will, you expect him to but it's up to him whether he does or does not. YOu make yourself vulnerable by creating such unrealistic expectations, and by doing it this way, you give away so much of your power to someone else, who gains the power to make you feel awful, so easily.
Whatever all this is about, you WANT those answers, but the glorious secret is that you don't NEED them ! You're not stupid, or pathetic or weak unles uyou insist on giving someone else the power to make you thus.
See a counsellor of the CBT form, to regain your self-respect and confidence, and realize your real potential

Reply to cybershrink

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