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Question
Posted by: Unsure | 2008/09/26

What would you do??

I' ve been married for 8 years. I recently discovered msgs on hubby' s cellphone from a women, msgs such as " why you ignoring me" , Excuses for her behavoir, i confronted him about it and he said it was a collegue from work giving him " grieve"  i left it there but knew something does not seem right. He also switches he' s phone to silent all the time since then and we get calls on our landline and the person never speaks.... I then discovered a msgs sent to this person from him telling her something which i told him in confidence and confronted him about it and he claimed that she is a friend and he only told her this because he wanted to let her her know that she was upsetting me with her calls " which he suspcects that it was her calling our home"  I asked him why he would tell her my feelings and who makes her so important for him to tell her about me and what i feel if as he claims he does not know her all that well. I don' t know what to make of this. He is so secretive with his phone and when the landline at home rings he' s very jumpy.
Please tell me if i should be worried? And how i can resolve the insecureness?
Thank you!

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Our expert says:
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If you'll check the archives of this forum, we get messages VERY like this at least once a day, sometimes several a day. What you describe does indeed sound suspicious. There's not really any way to resolve this other than by discussion between you, most likely to succeed if you see a marriage counsellor together
Its too early to tell the children if they are not aware of any problem so far.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Sue | 2008/10/06

If you ever need to chat : sue dot wilson9 at gmail dot com

Reply to Sue
Posted by: UNSURE | 2008/10/03

Hi Sue

I' m in CPT.

Reply to UNSURE
Posted by: Sue | 2008/10/03

Yes sure, Germiston/Edenvale area. Where are you?

Reply to Sue
Posted by: Me | 2008/10/02

Hi Sue

Thank you!! If it' s not too personal can you tell me whereabout are you situated?

Reply to Me
Posted by: Sue | 2008/10/01

Dear friend, remember to only change the things you can and accept the things you can' t AND when God leads you to the end of the cliff He will give you the wings to fly.
I truly hope you have a wonderful and true marriage but if not you will survive.....keep in touch.

Reply to Sue
Posted by: Unsure | 2008/09/29

Hi Bee and Sue

Thank you very much for you advice and encouragment.
At this stage i' m still very unsure as to what to do, however i have a very strong feeling that things will progress to a point where the truth will be revealed and with your encouragement and strong words i will have the willpower to make the right decision for me and my children.
I feel with people like you to have on my side i can only grow from here!
I will keep you posted on any further developments, not that i hope thee will be any :(...

Many thanks and regards

Reply to Unsure
Posted by: Sue | 2008/09/29

I' m so sorry to hear, I went through a similar crisis. I tried everything to save my marriage but he could not stop seeing the other woman. I' m divorced 2 years now and met the man of my dreams a month ago. Never give up - believe in yourself. Yes, have hope and fight your battle just don' t fight a battle you know you cannot win.
Good luck.

Reply to Sue
Posted by: Bee | 2008/09/26

At this stage I think you need to worry about yourself - what are you going to do?

I hope for your sake that he will admit if he is indeed having the affair. Otherwise you will always wonder....But I truly believe in a woman' s 6th sense - we know when there' s something wrong....

I am so sorry for your pain - I honestly can' t imagine what you must be feeling.

I also believe that there is hope - I know many people say that once a husband has done that, he will again. To a degree I understand and feelt he sam,e but to another degree I believe there must be hope to save the marraige! If you want to, that is!

Good luck my friend.


Reply to Bee
Posted by: Unsure | 2008/09/26

Hi Bee

I also have that feeling. We have two children 9 &  3 and i don' t know waht to tell them?

Reply to Unsure
Posted by: Bee | 2008/09/26

I am very sorry - I strongly doubt that you are suffering from insecureness - the bastard is obviously cheating on you. I am sorry that it sounds so harsh, but it sounds like he is cheating on you.

Reply to Bee

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