Our expert says:
There's no definite answer there so much depends on the kind of love, the nature of both individuals and their interactions, their expectations, and so on.
But you seem to have jumped to some conclusions. Often an affair may seem more exciting because it does NOT share the humdrum ordinary aspects of any long-term relationship, maybe even its illicit nature gives it some spice for you.
You chose to have an affair - apparently eventually physical, as a married woman, and with a married man.
You say you never had an afair, yet you describe not onl strong emotional attachment, but saying "(not initially physical at all)" implies that it WAS eventually physical, too. What else makes for an affair ? And you don't seem to have considered either your husband or his wife, in this.
You seem, as I say, to have jumped to the conclusion that it was somehow impossible for you to enjoy this qua;lity of relationship with your husband, even though you say you love him. Is that certain ? Have you tried to do so ? Have you seen a marriage counsellor together to work on refreshing and extending your existing relationship ?
Now, maybe some individual counsellin could help you work through what this affair was all about, and then maybe indeed some marriage counselling could help you both
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