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Question
Posted by: Woman | 2011/08/25

What to expect in a new relationship

I am a divorcee, dated only one guy who was very loving, pity things didnt work out. i meet somebody new, we have been together for a very short while, this guy while send me messages on my phone, check how am i, 1 email a day wishing me a good day, when he call, we talk about any other thing except for our relationship, he is also divorced, i dont know if i am expecting too much if i want him to tell me how he feel about me or the relationship, he is just quiet when it comes to relatioship, must i ask him where we going, or what is happening, or is it still soon for me to say anything. he is not even initiating that we must get together

Advice

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

You don't mention how recently he has been divorced - friendships are fine, but getting in too deep into a relationship too soon after a divorce, when there is still much emotional and other business to finish dealing with, can be a bad idea - is he perhaps being realistically cautious ? Women are often the first to want a man to declare his feelings and intentions, even when he himself may be unaware of the answers to these questions. You say you've only been together "a very little while" - isn't this a bit soon to be wanting declarations and clarity ?
As "man" points out, men tend to run in fear when a women starts sounding desperate or needy.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Woman | 2011/08/29

CS and everyone, thanks, i will take it slowly, if he is meant to be, he will be, if not, he wont stay.

Reply to Woman
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/08/27

You don't mention how recently he has been divorced - friendships are fine, but getting in too deep into a relationship too soon after a divorce, when there is still much emotional and other business to finish dealing with, can be a bad idea - is he perhaps being realistically cautious ? Women are often the first to want a man to declare his feelings and intentions, even when he himself may be unaware of the answers to these questions. You say you've only been together "a very little while" - isn't this a bit soon to be wanting declarations and clarity ?
As "man" points out, men tend to run in fear when a women starts sounding desperate or needy.

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Helpful Advice | 2011/08/26

If you cannot get a date with him do not show him the middle finger.
That would be most unlady like and deter potential suitors should they hear about it. To have a reputation for desperation and profanity is not good on the singles scene.

Reply to Helpful Advice
Posted by: Man | 2011/08/26

Hi Dash
she could do as you suggest but he will then be in no doubt about how desperate she is.
If he is in anyway interested in her he will ask her out in his own time - your tactic will just scare him away.............

Reply to Man
Posted by: Dash rosco | 2011/08/26

No you not desperate! ask him out indirectly, like what do you do over the weekends or on your spare time? and after then tell him what you do with your spare time or what you used to do when you were involved, tell him now you single you don''t have anyone to do those things with, if he he doesn''t ask you out or to meet then show him your middle finger lol.

Reply to Dash rosco
Posted by: Man | 2011/08/25

Quote....... he is not even initiating that we get together......
This is not a relationship but a friendship!
Dont think of asking him where you are going as you will come across as desperate (you sound very desperate!)

Reply to Man

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