Our expert says:
A very sad story. But your father has made his choices, and will live with their consequences. You can't do it for him. You have tried to be supportive and helpful,but he seems to be unappreciative and not to accept or follow good advice.
If he wants to be a boss, that hardly sounds realistic when he can't even manage his own life, let alone a business. There are so many people keen to be a boss and not to be a worker.
He cannot expect you to put up with all his hatrtyed and still to take care of him, when he can't be bothered to take care of himself. He was cruel to your mother and to you and your close family, and inconsiderate and rude to others. How does he deserve better treatment than he has insisted on giving to others ?
Don't take ANY further financial responsibility for him - he is expecting you to pay for everything so he can spend everything else on drink. There are facilities which could helphim, but only if he genuinely wanted to be helped, and apparently he doesn't. You can't "want" it for him.
When people call with more scandalous stories about what he's getting up to, tell them not to call, that you have tried enormously to help him, and he will not be helped.
How many "last chances" should he get ? No more. Leave him to his own devices ; this is how he is insisting it must be.
You have done far more than most people would have done, none of this is your fault, and nothing more you could do will save someone determined to sabotage your every effort. Concentrate on making a good and happy life for yourself and your husband and child.
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