Posted by: sue | 2012-11-06

What to do??

Hi Doc,

I''m a single mom to a 12 year old daughter with ADHD.
The problem (this time) is the school. This year has been the most revolting ever. After being called in many many times with complaints about my daughters impulsivity, I finally asked the deputy head if he knew what ADHD was, and his reply was " No, actually I dont" . These teachers dare to " diagnose"  DHD and tell the parents their children need to be on meds, but they dont even know what it is!
Anyway, my childs class teacher is a bully, and thrives on humiliating a child in front of the rest of the class, or other parents (she is also an aftercare supervisor).
Yesterday, she asked to speak to me when I fetched my daughter from aftercare at 5pm - in front of my child and the dozens of children and parents that were milling about, she proceeded to say (very loudly) that my daughter is out of control as she was laughing with her friend in homework class about a tv ad, and that she is a bad influence on this child and that the childs mother doesn''t want my daughter around her child etc etc etc.
Having dealt with this kind of thing since the beginning of the year, I finally lost it, and read the teacher the riot act, and told her that HER behaviour is shocking etc etc. I did this only after my daughter had walked off crying, to wait in the car.

The thing is, when we got home, after arguing in the car my daughter came and told me that she was so humiliated and felt so worthless that she wanted to commit suicide. She is 12!

What do I do from here? My daughter is on meds for the ADHD, and they are working well for her - her behaviour has improved dramatically in the last 6 months, she is getting good reports from all of the teachers (except for the above), but the minute she opens her mouth, she gets nailed. She is normally a happy contented child, but yesterday was an eye opener for me. I''m hugely concerned about my daughters comments on suicide.
She has one more year to go at this school before moving to high school.
I''m so angry about this teacher and the treatment she dishes out. The problem is, the Deputy head was standing right next to her when she was carrying on like this, and he did nothing to stop her, although I could see he was wishing he were elsewhere!
What to do?? Please help.

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Our expert says:
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As you may know I have long complained of the cheek of teachers who improperly diagnose ADHD or similar problems ( for which they don't have the faintest ability or qualifications ) recommend medications ( ditto ) and refer to OT ( ditto, and always unhelpful ). They can be useful in recognizing problems in a child and suggesting referral to an appropriate healthcare professional for a proper assessment and diagnosis and treatment. And they ought all to know what ADHD and similar childhood psych problems are and what they AS TEACHERS can do to understand and help such kids.
Teachers who are bullies and like humiliating children ought to be recognized as child abusers, and treated as such.
The episode you describe is indeed child abuse, and should lead to formal complaints to the appropriate authorities.
Speak to the head and insist that the teacher be disciplined for crude cruelty to children, affront to you as a child, and inability to deal with a simple and common childhood ailment. And that your child be offered a different teacer to this awful one. From your further comment, the deputy head is probably already aware of this awful teacher, but unwilling to deal with her ( or unsure of how to do so ).

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Our users say:
Posted by: Unique | 2012-11-10

Remove your child from that school! at a minimum she must move away from this teacher. Also take her out of after care as long as this idiot is running it.

Reply to Unique
Posted by: Kelly | 2012-11-07

To be honest it sounds like your kid is a brat.
You sound like those mom who always covers up for their kids no matter what they have done, they angels.
I think that perhaps the teacher and head totally had it with her and therefore the outburst infront of everyone. Not ato say that I agree with this at all.

The suicide comment is most prob. some attention seeking, seriously and sorry to say I''ve seen this many times with these brats when they dont get their way.

Sorry for sounding insensitive and all but thats just my thoughts.
Yes, you surely will not agree as these little brats parents usually think they little angels floating on fluffy white clouds.

Reply to Kelly

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