Our expert says:
Does she really not think there are problems in this relationship, or that they are not worth trying to fix ? Or does she feel that anything like marriage counselling would inevitably involve blaming her and making her feel worse ? SOunds like she is determined to avoid facing the fact that she has any faults at all, which is not only unpleasant for you, but self-defeating for her, too.
Maybe she can be encouraged to recognize that while her difficult childhood has wounded her, as it is, she is allowing whoever hurt her then, to be triumphant and to restrict her pleasure in life right now and for the future - and that therapy would actually free her from whatever happened, and enable her to find a more free and happ way of living.
Discuss this issue with your own counsellor, and work out a strategy to deal with this, perhaps on the lines I've suggested.
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