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Question
Posted by: Flower 1980 | 2009-02-27

What to DO

Married for 6 years, dont love my husband cause he drinks to much. What he has done over the years, physicaly abuse me twice in this 6 years. Now we are going through a legal problem that is affecting both of us, but I feel I am carring this burden alone.Yesteray I had such a bad, I couldnt keep my tears in, and he knows it cause I called him, you what he did,went out drinking.Can you blame me if I have an affair with a colleague.This guy is sexy, I enjoy myself with him.How can I love someone thats always drunk let alone he is neva there when I go through an emoitional breakdown, I cant talk to him cause he is always drunk. The only good thing that he does is provide for his family,cause he gives his whole salary to me. I think this is the only thing that keeps me in the relationship. I did ask for a divorce but he says he loves me. I cant be loving towards him, I question myself cuase things I do with my lover I dont do with with husband.I kissed and cant stoo touching my lover, but I cant bare it to even kissed my husband gudnight. What does that mean.Besides I think im inlove with my lover but he is not on that level with me . What To Do? I know what Im doing is wrong, but hubby wont give me a divorce

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sounds like a sad and difficult situation, but youk now well that havin an affair wopn't help anything and can only make the situation worse. What you're doing, in seeking an escape in pleasure is in fact equivalent to what your husband is doing in drink. The other guy doesn't love you, but is taking advantage of the situation. Rather go for marriage counselling and see what can be fixed, instead of damaging things further

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

4
Our users say:
Posted by: OH WELL | 2009-02-27

I agree with Really I think you are the one irresponsible.
if you are not happy leave hinm instead of cheating.
That is cheap my darling

Reply to OH WELL
Posted by: Peet | 2009-02-27

Maybe he drinks because he knows about the affair!! Cheating is WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reply to Peet
Posted by: Really | 2009-02-27

Does he really give you all his salary or do you just believe he does???? If he does then where does he get the money to be drunk all the time, or do you give him pocket change....Strange.

Why are you cheating on him and not trying to help him with his alcoholism..... he has abused you... what twice you say.... really or maybe you thought it was abuse... in 6 years...

If you don' t love him, leave him... don' t carry on cheating on him and them infect him with something someday.. do you know what your lover is doing when he is not with you, since you say he seems not to be with at the same level with you...and plus he knows you are married... imagine aaaaaaaaaaaaaaall the otherrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr girls...huh!

I think the only problem with your hubby is that he drinks a lot and it does not seem that you have tried to help him out of it. It' s sad.... now stop cheating.....

Reply to Really
Posted by: What' s to refuse ? | 2009-02-27

Your relationship, if you can call it that, with your husband is sad to say the least. I don' t understand the concept of that he " won' t give me a divorce"  Its not for him to give anything. You divorce him. Its not necessary to get his permission, you just go ahead and file for divorce on whatever grounds you have. You should have been out of the marriage the first time he physically abused you, thats a huge, irreversable deal breaker , as is your infidelity by the way. Does he know about your affair ? If so that may complicate matters, I am not sure about that. Why stay on in an unhappy relationship that clearly does not work ? If you are happy with your lover, stay on with him, it need not necessairly become anything permanent if you are not happy with his social status, just stay on for the physical side you appear to enjoy. Go for it.

Reply to What&#39 s to refuse ?

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