Our expert says:
Many mothers have that tendency, but maybe your mom does so to extremes.
If she reliably does the opposite of what you ask, have you tried asking her to do the opposite of what you want ?
Apparently its in her nature to keep busy and at work ( some of us are really bad at doing nothing )- try giving her less physically straining tasks to do, and in ways that would involve you in the ultimate decision making.
She was presumptuous in assuming she knew exactly what you needed done and what you should have wanted done ; maybe you also over-reacted a bit, because you were reacting not only to the specific events of the book bundling, but to all the other similar events you recalled. If she had just put the books aside, presumably you could have checked them before the neighbour arrived to take them ?
She's 70, but maybe does feel 70, or doesn't want to feel and acknowledge that she's 70 ? And the implications ( realistic or otherwise ) of her husband having committed suicide ) may understandably trouble her, even if she might not admit that. Facing one's new limitations and dependency, is a tough thing.
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