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Question
Posted by: Breenie | 2012/03/08

What the??

My brothers little boy, i think he''s 5 or 6 yrs of age was seen ''doing things'' sexually with the neighbours bull dog. Seems he ''rubs'' his genitalia against the female dog''s genitalia. This boy also has been caught ''doing things'' ''sexually'' i presume with the nieghbours little 4 or 5 yr old daughter.
I know that, in my brothers home, there is alot of substance abuse problems, minor violence(shouting, arguing, door slamming etc), could it be linked to this maybe?
Any thoughts on this sir? Thanks

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Has child welfare been noptified of these potential problems ? They could investigate and see whether there is a real problem here.
IF what you report is happening, this is not appropriate to his age, and though there could be other explanations, it raises a real possibility that he may have been exposed to sexual abuse or molestation at some stage. Maybe that he has been witnessing sexual activity among adults, without anyone directly intending to involve him, and is attempting to imitate what he has seen.
If the neighbour has truly witnessed what you describe, he could report this to Child Welfare, as could you, but as a direct witness he would be more credible. Similarly if the wife had reported him to the police for abuse ( presumably of herself ? ) several times, that could also be considered grounds for involving CHild Welfare

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Our users say:
Posted by: ? | 2012/03/08

You have not spoken to the family for a while knowing a woman has been abused enough to go to the police and your brother is an alchoholic? You also know a child is exposed to this but all you are prepared to do is listen to a neighbor and post on the internet?

You are right there r proffesionals out there but why have u not contacted them....?

l can see no hostility in my posting.To respond so aggresively to replies on an open forum shows you may have anger issues and may well need to contact a proffesional yourself!

ln reply to your query -do l have any experience of his type of behviour. l can only be honest and say no. We are a happpy family who occasionally argue over the tv remote but have no substance or violence issues. lf r reffering to your behaviour also no - l cannot think of anyone l know who calls caring strangers morons or asses when they try to help

Reply to ?
Posted by: almost mad | 2012/03/08

Please just go around and have a look and if you think the nabour is honest in what he saw then call child welfair to invetigate. This sounds serious. Think about the kid.

Reply to almost mad
Posted by: Liza | 2012/03/08

Ah. So I didn''t tell you what you wanted to hear? Touchy touchy. Perhaps I shouldn''t have used the word interfere - it has too many negative connotations when I meant it in the positive sense that it''s your DUTY to interfere if this child needs help. The problem is that social workers only start to investigate when someone gives them a first-hand account of problems. They''re usually far too busy to investigate every second and third-hand accounts of problems.

And if you didn''t want to ''interfere''(in the positive sense of helping out) then why are you asking for advice?!?

Liza

Reply to Liza
Posted by: @ Liza | 2012/03/08

You an aspring shrink or something? Or you just want to impress?
What makes you think i want to interfere? You made an assumption, you''re an ass! :)

Reply to @ Liza
Posted by: Bernie | 2012/03/08

Hello ?
1. I haven''t spoken to my family in awhile.
2. The little boy was caught by my brothers neighbour, and he told me, out of concern.
3. Rumours?? In your head maybe.
4. My brother is an alchoholic and has been to AA for years.
5. My sister in law has phoned the police on my brother many times for abuse.
5. You''re a very hostile person ey? Not getting along in this world?
6. This seems to have touched a nerve there, you familiar with this type of behaviour.
7. Thanks goodness there are professionals to help people with problems and not left to morons like you(i wonder what you do for a living?)
 )

Reply to Bernie
Posted by: Liza | 2012/03/08

I agree with ?. Make sure of your facts before interfering. Hearing about things second or even third hand definitely does not count as facts. In truth it''s just the opinion of others about a certain situation. And your presumptions about what is going on is far too vague to count as facts.

Have you heard what ASSUME stands for? It stands for " Making an @ ss out of u and me" . Don''t make assumptions. Get the facts.

If substance abuse in the household can be proved, social services must be notified so that an investigation can be done to figure out what is in the best interests of the child. When a child portrays age-inappropriate sexual behavior, it usually means that the child has been exposed to inappropriate sexual conduct. This could include sexual molestation or viewing pornography. Which means that obviously the household problems go further than just substance abuse and minor violence. If you''ve seen this behavior with your own eyes, then you should notify social services. If anyone else has told you that they''ve seen this behavior, then they should be the ones to notify social services.

Good Luck
Liza

Reply to Liza
Posted by: ? | 2012/03/08

As you are not even sure of the childs age how can you be sure that these incidents really occured.
Before repeating these rumours you really need to be sure of the facts.
If there is substance abuse and violence in the home is there not already a social worker involved who can investigate and deal with these things?

Reply to ?
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/03/08

Has child welfare been noptified of these potential problems ? They could investigate and see whether there is a real problem here.
IF what you report is happening, this is not appropriate to his age, and though there could be other explanations, it raises a real possibility that he may have been exposed to sexual abuse or molestation at some stage. Maybe that he has been witnessing sexual activity among adults, without anyone directly intending to involve him, and is attempting to imitate what he has seen.
If the neighbour has truly witnessed what you describe, he could report this to Child Welfare, as could you, but as a direct witness he would be more credible. Similarly if the wife had reported him to the police for abuse ( presumably of herself ? ) several times, that could also be considered grounds for involving CHild Welfare

Reply to cybershrink

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