Our expert says:
I am so sorry to hear that you feel so bad, but I'm pleased to hear you have not yet taken steps to damage or harm yourself. YOu seem to be seeking an explanation for why you have thus far had the excellent sense not to do so. More important, perhaps, would be finding reasons why you have been thinking so much about doing so, how you have come to assume you should consider doing so. If you are unhappy, working properly and sincerely with a good shrink, you can work your way out of the unhappiness, which otherwise may have become a habit, as false a way of routinely viewing the world as a happy clappy person habitually views the world in an unrealistically sunny way. If you are depressed, that depression can be lifted.
Instead of focussing all your creativity, thinking powers and efforts on nagative thoughts, if you devoted those strengths to finding positive solutions, you could achieve those.
Remember that suicide or even less major self-harm can be and usually is, extremely hurtful and damaging to friends and family, and nakes their lives sadder and more fraught.
And never forget that all too often, plans for suicide or self-harm, however ingenious, and however much they might seem, often leaves the person still alive, but more seriously damaged, less able to sort out what needs to be sorted out, with all the problems they previously had, plus a host of new ones.
Please, do get the help you so obviously need and deserve.
Depression is the sneakiest of illnesses, which often starts by robbing you of perspective, by stealing your capacity to hope, even to believe that things could indeed be better. Don't let the twisted chemistry of an illness cheat you and your loved ones. Get help. and let us know on the forum of your progress.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal
advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.