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Question
Posted by: Anonymous | 2011/06/27

What should I do?

I''ve asked my husband on a scale of 1-10 how attractive he finds me and he replied he won''t answer me as I will be mad at him. So suppose I''m a 1 or even a 0 how do I go about to change this? I bought myself new clothes and had my ussual hair done but it seems not to be enough. So I could loose a few kg but it won''t take away the wrincles as I''m about to become a granny. I thought about leaving him before he cheats on me with somebody he might feel to be more attractive ...?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I can understand his caution ! Its like when husbands are asked if they like your new dress or hairstyle - there's no right answer they can give. He'd hesitate to offer even a score of 9 ! It sounds as though are having some sort of crisis of self-confidence. He is not saying he DOESN'T find you attractive, just that he hesitates to say. And you are assuming he finds you totally unattractive and is longing for an affair, which mnay very well not be so at all. Wouldn't a spot of marriage counselling be more helpful for you both ? To explore and solve, together, any problems you both have and probably share ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Man | 2011/06/28

May be u need to concentrate on more meaningful conversation subjects with your hubby.
Asking him to rate you on a scale of 1 to 10 is such a mind numbingly boring convresation if he leaves you it will be because he needs more intellectual stimulation.

Reply to Man
Posted by: Romany | 2011/06/28

To XXX.
" keep yourself well groomed,physically fit and as alluring "  FOR YOURSELF !!! Not everything you do should ever be for " your man" . Except maybe a nice cup of tea or a fancy dinner.
What you do to your appearance is for YOUR CONFIDENCE and YOUR PLEASURE first and foremost.
Women should NEVER do anything for " her man"  it it is not FOR her first.

Reply to Romany
Posted by: XXX | 2011/06/28

All you can do is keep yourself well groomed,physically fit and as alluring to your man as possible.Getting older is all part of life,so don''t be afraid of that.

Reply to XXX
Posted by: Realist | 2011/06/27

I am assuming you are of a " mature"  age ? If so, I would have thought by now you would have had the time to appreciate yourself for the person you are. Not many guys are prepared to go that route, it just leads to a whole can of whiparse at the end of the day. Relax.

Reply to Realist
Posted by: Angie | 2011/06/27

Anonymous Anonymous Anonymous love how do you see yourself on that scale. Love and admire yourself before any perosn does that lovey. I rate myself 20 on a scale of 20 and my man rates me 0 on that scale

Reply to Angie
Posted by: Romany | 2011/06/27

So, on a scale from 1 to 10, how attractive do YOU find YOUR husband?
And does it matter?
Not much you or HIM can do about age other than do it " gracefully" .

Reply to Romany
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/06/27

I can understand his caution ! Its like when husbands are asked if they like your new dress or hairstyle - there's no right answer they can give. He'd hesitate to offer even a score of 9 ! It sounds as though are having some sort of crisis of self-confidence. He is not saying he DOESN'T find you attractive, just that he hesitates to say. And you are assuming he finds you totally unattractive and is longing for an affair, which mnay very well not be so at all. Wouldn't a spot of marriage counselling be more helpful for you both ? To explore and solve, together, any problems you both have and probably share ?

Reply to cybershrink

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