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Question
Posted by: lara | 2010/07/20

what should i do?

Good day

My friends caught my boyfriend kissing his x girlfriend (they had a one year relationship 5years ago) he''s denying it as he was drunk he does not remember kissing her but he remembers she was there(thats what he says,it was in the club)

hes begging for me not to leave him,as it would be wrong because what i heard is not true.

i''m in denial about it should i forgive him,i dont know what to do he asked for me to please come and see him so we can talk things trough.I dont want to,because im hurt.What should i do

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

You have to be really VERY drunk not only to do something you might not do while sober, but to forget all about it and have no recall of it at all. And if he was truly so drunk he can't remember what happened - how on earth can he deny it ?
You're not really "in denial" about it, but clearly reluctant to believe it.
Is a drunken kiss with a former friend really such an awful thing as to break this relationshp ? IF you feel it is, then maybe this wasn't a really serious relationship after all.
What actually is it that has left you feeling so hurt ? The possibility that he may have kissed her ? The possibility that he may have lied about it ? The claim that he allows himself to get so drunk that he does unwise things he later claims he can't remember ? Clarify your complaint, and then weight that against the value you consider this relationship has for you.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: Maria | 2010/07/20

Consider the following:
- Could there be a reason why your friends are lying to you?
- Do you want to be with a guy who uses being drunk as an excuse for unacceptable behaviour?

Reply to Maria
Posted by: Maria | 2010/07/20

Do you value this relationship and would you like it to continue? If the answer is yes then go and see him and forgive him this once. If the answer is no then walk away.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/07/20

You have to be really VERY drunk not only to do something you might not do while sober, but to forget all about it and have no recall of it at all. And if he was truly so drunk he can't remember what happened - how on earth can he deny it ?
You're not really "in denial" about it, but clearly reluctant to believe it.
Is a drunken kiss with a former friend really such an awful thing as to break this relationshp ? IF you feel it is, then maybe this wasn't a really serious relationship after all.
What actually is it that has left you feeling so hurt ? The possibility that he may have kissed her ? The possibility that he may have lied about it ? The claim that he allows himself to get so drunk that he does unwise things he later claims he can't remember ? Clarify your complaint, and then weight that against the value you consider this relationship has for you.

Reply to cybershrink

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