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Question
Posted by: Abigail | 2011/01/28

what now?

Why would anyone think that ignoring his/her partner is a good way of ''punishing'' them? My male " friend"  has been ignoring me for weeks and I have absolutely no idea what is wrong with him. When I sms him he ignores me, when I call him, he is very polite, but does not say much. He could have something on his mind or stress at work, but refuses to discuss it. We were involved in a relationship, but it did not work out ... fighting and arguing too much ... I still have feelings for him and I think he still felt the same way when we split up .. could this be his way of dealing with the break up or is he punishing me for calling it off?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Maybe its simply over ? Stop pursuing him. If he doesn't approach you, pleasantly, then he is anyway gone, and good riddance. IF he does approach you in a nice way, consider whether he's mature enough to spend your time with.
Maybe see a couples counsellor together ?

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5
Our users say:
Posted by: Romany | 2011/01/31

Without a doubt he is trying to show you that he has moved on.
You need to get over the feelings and move on as well.
No use crying over spilt milk !!
You will aslo find someone else only once you have cut yourself loose from the ex.

Reply to Romany
Posted by: Wise Owl | 2011/01/30

I would just stop contacting him and come to the realisation that its OVER. All you are doing is punishing yourself, each time you contact him, in the back of your mind, you know he is going to cold shoulder you, yet you persist. Maybe, subconsciously you enjoy the sensation of rejection and that is why you continue to do it. Stop persuing him, get a life and move on, you are only hurting your self image and disrespecting yourself.

Reply to Wise Owl
Posted by: Outsider | 2011/01/29

It sounds to me like you are running after him. Perhaps you should let him know how you are feeling and make it clear to him that if he does not want to discuss things with you are respond to any of your calls, messages etc. Then you will simply continue life without his friendship.

If he still does not come back to you then simply move on - he is then not worth having as a friend!

Good luck

Reply to Outsider
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/01/29

Maybe its simply over ? Stop pursuing him. If he doesn't approach you, pleasantly, then he is anyway gone, and good riddance. IF he does approach you in a nice way, consider whether he's mature enough to spend your time with.
Maybe see a couples counsellor together ?

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Maria | 2011/01/28

I think he his trying to tell you it''s over, let''s move on.

Reply to Maria

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