Posted by: Happiness | 2009-01-26

What must I do?

I am in love with this guy and he is my first lover.We have been dating for a year and a couple of months and also have a child together.I once found out that he was cheating on me and forgave him for that. Now my problem is I keep on going through his emails and cellphone and find things which make us fight.I also check out on him everytime he goes out, cuz I always think he might have went to see girls.He always give valid reasons for them and we move on.I promised him once or twice that I won'  t go through his stuff again bt I keep on doing it and we end up fighting cuz he thinks I don'  t trust him.I really want to make things right between us and I don'  t know what to do to stop my insecurity.I really love this guys and I don'  t want to loose him, I think what I am doing is really pushing him away

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Our expert says:
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Why should he expect you to trust him after he cheated ? If you really think yo need to continue with him, see a relationship counsellor together

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Our users say:
Posted by: Dump the loser | 2009-01-27

Dump him. Once someone is a cheater, liar and dishonest they will never change, no matter what promises are made. He has totally disrespected you, not only by trashing your emotional you, but physically risking you to some serious fatal disease. Thats what people forget to consider. I just don' t get it when prople talk about that beautiful word, " love"  when referring to a relationship such as yours. " He' s a swine, he cheats on me, he puts me at risk of a fatal disease, disrespects me and his child, he makes my life a total misery"  but..... I love him !!! Do you hear yourself? What on earth is there to love? I just don' t get it. Get rid of the slug and find a real man who WILL love you, respect you and take care of you. They6 are out there, but you have to make the effort. Good luck.

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Posted by: Worried | 2009-01-27

I was in the same boat and I know that it is difficult for you. You feel like a crazy women always wondering what he is doing and where he is going. Its quite normal after you have been cheated on. The problem is that know matter how you " spy"  on him, if he wants to cheat on you again he WILL make a way. I cant actually tell you what to do as it is easier said than done esp if you share a child, but for your own sanity try to stop. It wont be easy but as least try. He will wonder by himself but what is going on now. By acting like this you are making him " scared"  and yes that might drive him away but he has to be patient cause he caused this upon himself. Being insecure is one thing but when there is a child involved the women always has the bad end of the stick. Good luck! I really hope you can sort this out!

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