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Question
Posted by: Unknown | 2010-09-20

What is wrong with my child

I have a big problem, my 3 ½  year old boy is doing stuff that he certainly did not see at home –  but according to his teachers he is the instigator. A week ago the teacher informed me that he and two of his friends tackled a girl. My son and the one of the other boys hold her arms and the third boy took down her pants and kissed her on her private parts.Today we received a phone call from the principal  there was another incident where they cornered a boy –  and pulled down his pants. According to the school he pulls his pants down any time and shows his private parts to his friends. What is wrong with my child? I’ ll rather commit suicide than see my child become a pervert.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I have already responded to your message the other time it was posted here, so please read that response too.
As regards the extra information you supply here - its very unusual for a child to be so upset about being with girls or women, and I would very much wonder whether some older girls at school, or women, have abused him sexually. Its not unusual for someone who has experienced abuse, to become involved in doing it.
The fact that he changes the subject when you ask about this, is suspicious. One method which child shrinks might use ( it might be possible with you ) is to play with a such child with multiple small dolls representing adult and children men and women, and to encourage him to play games about what these people are doing together, and how they feel about whatever is happening in the game. Similarly, one can ask him to draw pictures of things that happen at school, scary things, ror other descriptions that might let him draw on his experiences ( literally !) and then ask him gently to explain what is happening to the people in the pictures.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

5
Our users say:
Posted by: RONELLE | 2010-10-01

WHAT IS THE CAUSE AND HOW CAN IT BE TREATED?

Reply to RONELLE
Posted by: Woman | 2010-09-20

Sweetie, a small child doesn''t act like that by himself. And I agree, putting a label on him now, is not a good thing. Please, please get him to an age appropriate therapist ASAP. His behaviour is not normal, but he''s not a pervert, he''s a baby trying his best to tell his mommy something is wrong. Someone did something that hurt him and he doesn''t have the words to tell you this.

Get him to a therapist!!

Reply to Woman
Posted by: Unknown | 2010-09-20

He totally avoids woman and girls. If his father is not home he cries non stop because he doesn’ t want to be with girls. Tantrums like always, nothing unusual. He doesn’ t want to go the loo before bedtime so I still put a nappy on after he falls asleep. He wakes up with a dry nappy but the day I decide to not put a nappy on he wets the bed. He refuses to sleep in his own bed, please be assured he doesn’ t see this behavior from us. We have two extra bedrooms and the house we do not have to do it while he is in the room. He certainly did not see it on the television because he is DVD crazy for the last two months –  so we watch children movies almost 24/7. I asked him so many times to tell me where he saw this –  but he changes the subject. I inspect him from top to bottom after bath time –  nothing seems to be wrong.

Reply to Unknown
Posted by: Maria | 2010-09-20

Oh please, commit suicide? Little kids aren''t perverts, they just imitate behaviour that they have seen somewhere or listen to a friend who tells them to do things. The school and parents should work together to give the kids consistent messages about privacy and appropriate behaviour. I think you must also consider the possibility that your son might have been molested. Has he shown any other unusual behaviour like crying, wetting his pants, avoiding certain people? Your son needs your help, not a nasty lable.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-09-20

I have already responded to your message the other time it was posted here, so please read that response too.
As regards the extra information you supply here - its very unusual for a child to be so upset about being with girls or women, and I would very much wonder whether some older girls at school, or women, have abused him sexually. Its not unusual for someone who has experienced abuse, to become involved in doing it.
The fact that he changes the subject when you ask about this, is suspicious. One method which child shrinks might use ( it might be possible with you ) is to play with a such child with multiple small dolls representing adult and children men and women, and to encourage him to play games about what these people are doing together, and how they feel about whatever is happening in the game. Similarly, one can ask him to draw pictures of things that happen at school, scary things, ror other descriptions that might let him draw on his experiences ( literally !) and then ask him gently to explain what is happening to the people in the pictures.

Reply to cybershrink

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