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Question
Posted by: VERY CONFUSED | 2012/03/13

WHAT IS THE MATTER?

Doc,

I wrote to you 2 weeks ago about my feelings for my husbands boss.

I think it might be that he makes me feel safe and provided for.

i have a huge problem towards my husband (no the boss is at this stage out of m y mind)

I have been providing for our family since we were married a year.

We have been through so many rough patches, his job loss due to illness.

both of us were in bad health at a stage.

it is asif in a way i am withdrawing from him. our child at this stage is my number 1 and i will do everything for her.

we don''t even sleep in one room as our daughter sleeps with one of us she makes turns.

i don''t know what is going on with me.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Interesting theory, because of course he does NOT actually make you safe or secure, and your crush on him seriously threatens your actual security. But the rest of your theory makes a lot of sense - maybe you to some extent resent your husband's situation and the situation it places you in, even if his illness isn't his fault. You may feel as though the boss could sweep you off your feet and give you the security, financial and emotional you deserve and want, but of course its vanishingly unlikely he would actually do that. More likely there could be some risk to your husband's job, and yours.
DO try to make a plan, as I suggested before, to see a counsellor and sort out your feelings and choices.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/03/13

Interesting theory, because of course he does NOT actually make you safe or secure, and your crush on him seriously threatens your actual security. But the rest of your theory makes a lot of sense - maybe you to some extent resent your husband's situation and the situation it places you in, even if his illness isn't his fault. You may feel as though the boss could sweep you off your feet and give you the security, financial and emotional you deserve and want, but of course its vanishingly unlikely he would actually do that. More likely there could be some risk to your husband's job, and yours.
DO try to make a plan, as I suggested before, to see a counsellor and sort out your feelings and choices.

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