Our expert says:
Interesting theory, because of course he does NOT actually make you safe or secure, and your crush on him seriously threatens your actual security. But the rest of your theory makes a lot of sense - maybe you to some extent resent your husband's situation and the situation it places you in, even if his illness isn't his fault. You may feel as though the boss could sweep you off your feet and give you the security, financial and emotional you deserve and want, but of course its vanishingly unlikely he would actually do that. More likely there could be some risk to your husband's job, and yours.
DO try to make a plan, as I suggested before, to see a counsellor and sort out your feelings and choices.
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