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Question
Posted by: lorna | 2009-01-15

what is the key to ' amnesia' 

hi all

7 years now i have been trying to get a man out of my system. I have taken up new hobbies, gone on numerous dates. I' ve also done the opposite, spent time on my own n refused to accept dates. I' ve travelled, changed jobs, moved home u name it. I remind myself of all his flaws but still love him

This is not someone i have ever dated, just been close to and been intimate with. He' s on his second serious relationship since we met. He has also just had a child with this 2nd woman and has moved her and the baby in. I have every reason to give up so y can' t I?

I don' t call him or contact him except maybe on his birthday. The longest we didnt see each other was almost two years.

Y is he still in my system? I still dream of this guy and see myself with him somehow, against all odds. I' ve seen stranger things happen.

What can i do to forget him? It also doens' t help that he also sometimes gets in touch and tells me how much he misses me and how special I am. What the point though, when he won' t ask me to be with him?

I want to give up and forget, but how? This is seven years on and i am as tired of loving him as I am in love with him, if that makes sense.

thanks.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

OK, what you need is not amnesia, or you'd forget everything, including everything you want to remember. If your problem is that you are allowing yourself to be obsessed by a man from your past, see a good local psychotherapist, preferably of the CBT type, to help you stop this bad habit. And maybe change your numbers so he can't contact you again, as such contacts are of no benefit to you. SOunds more like you're one of at least 3 women you knowof, who he enjoys playing with.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

1
Our users say:
Posted by: Anon | 2009-01-15

Sometimes we just dont want to see the wood through the trees. Wake up and smell the coffee. You are an adult and as such you can make the decision of wanting to be with or without him. He is not playing the game either with his current girlfriend and if he is " cheating"  on her then he will do that to you. There is so much out there but yet you choose to waste your time on this loser. Focus your mind on better things and try to have a better life for yourself. This one is going nowhere right now....

Reply to Anon

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