Posted by: ZEE | 2009-11-06


I' ve been in a relationship with my husband for 3 yrs and married for 11 months. I felt pragnant while planning our wedding and most of the planning was left to me as he just wanted to do things on the month of the wedding. So i shared responsibilities with him and left petty things for him to look after.

2 weeks after our wedding, he bacame a stranger. I' ve talked to him trying to find out what is it i have done wrong. He bacame lazy, he would snap a me for no reason, he seem to have a short temper, he' s irratable and have numerous times called me names, my BG is now 5months old and i am deep in debt because of the wedding and also of the responsibilities around the house. He has 3 other kids from previous relationships and i have been very supportive and love his kids but i feel that he has taken advantage of my graditute, he won' t help me with anything, fianncially it worse if i ask help from him it either he will say he does' nt have money or he says he will see what he can do and NEVER does he do anything.

I feel alone in this maridge, He goes out to parties or clubs and come in the early hours of the morning, he has not touch me or had intercouse with me from when i was pregnant. I have stopped trying to communicate and initiating everything.

I want out , i' m full of resent and i don' t think i love him anymore. I want to settle my debt and be able to focus on me and my baby. It a bit difficult because of my income. I' m tired and i know i can be happy on my own.

I feel trapped though, i just got into this maridge. WHAT HAPPENED?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageDivorce support expert

Dear Zee,

unfortunately life has no timing for the challenges it throws at us but I would have a tendency to say to better realise sooner than later.
I would be curious to ask if you really hadn't picked up warning signs prior to the marriage. It's amazing how much our dreams can have us overlook some of those signs.

Needless to say that there are two options. Is there hope for your relationship and does need guidance to grow out of a situation that seems hopeless at the moment or you have made up your mind and need clarity to engage on your journey. Because there is a child involved, it is important that both you and the father address what is best for your child and explore a future relationship as co-parents. Your child can grow up happy and well balanced if she has a clear relationship with both her parents.

I would suggest you seek coaching address the emotional issues before addressing the practical ones.
You may contact me for further queries.

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