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Question
Posted by: Thandoluhle | 2010/02/02

What do I do becoming frustrated


Today while my husband was busy in the kitchen and I was in the bedroom a message entered into his phone I normally dont answer or look at his phone but today I dont know what happened I saw a message that comes from his daughter by another woman the daughter is now 23 yrs have a child of his own and demands maintenance each month and that was never discussed but you know men he payed into the daughters account that money. The daughter is now demanding even more she wants extra money and a computer I emmediately put the phone down and didnt say anything, I really have a problem with my husband because as I am telling you we dont share our money because I have seen that he does not want to give me even a cent we stay with his other 2 daughters and he will only give me money because he want to give to his daughters maybe e.g. for salon I know I am working but what about the house holds he only give me R300 when he gets money on the payday, I think I must be clever hear I asked him yesterday where is he going with his girlfriends because you know what he calls me a grandmother so I dont think he wants to go with me to any places around 6 or on Sundays around 1 he will tell me there is this neighbour(man) he must take to somewhere but I dont think so. On the 14th I have decided to take myself somewhere when I asked him about that he said he will be in a meeting he takes me for granted and only likes me for a housewife, someone who can stay with his kids and cook. What must I do to change all this, I am in a process of getting a learners I asked him to give a an exercise of driving for 1 hour when I get my driving licence he said he will not be able to because he cannot teach someone what do I do, please assist.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

It isfair that your husband supported his daughter from a previous relationship, while she was a child. At 23, she should be supporting herself, and should not expect all of her expenses to be paid by him - but this is the sort of issue it is wise to discuss before marriage, when either partner has existing dependents.
ANd she should be asking for assistance, not demanding it.
Overall, he doesn't sound a vary caring husband, but presumably he appreciates having you as a live-in housekeeper and cook who even pays for the costs, rather than needing to get paid.
As you are working, he may think you can well afford to take care of your own personal expenses, but the household expenses should be shared, especially as he has two daughters staying there as well as himself.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/02/02

It isfair that your husband supported his daughter from a previous relationship, while she was a child. At 23, she should be supporting herself, and should not expect all of her expenses to be paid by him - but this is the sort of issue it is wise to discuss before marriage, when either partner has existing dependents.
ANd she should be asking for assistance, not demanding it.
Overall, he doesn't sound a vary caring husband, but presumably he appreciates having you as a live-in housekeeper and cook who even pays for the costs, rather than needing to get paid.
As you are working, he may think you can well afford to take care of your own personal expenses, but the household expenses should be shared, especially as he has two daughters staying there as well as himself.

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