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Question
Posted by: KD | 2011-10-11

what do i do

as a kid and while growing up i always went through scorn and ridicule with my mom, now i am 32 have my own kids one is 4 and one 2 and i treat my 4 year old the way my mom treated mehow can i change this i hate myself for doing this, and this child, is really good, please help

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

In major and serious ways, as well as in smaller and less important ways, it is sobering, isn't it, when we find ourselves becoming like or acting like, our parents. Sometimes that's something admirable and to be welcomed, but obviously not always.
Its especially sad when you were badly treated as a child, without deserving it, and then find you are treating a child of your own in the same unpleasant and undeserved way.
Counselling is probably the best way to sort this out, helping you to understand and change these bad habits.
You mention doing this with your child ofm 4, but not yet the child of 2 - were you, by chance, around 4 years old when your own mother started ridiculing you and making you feel small and helpless ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011-10-11

In major and serious ways, as well as in smaller and less important ways, it is sobering, isn't it, when we find ourselves becoming like or acting like, our parents. Sometimes that's something admirable and to be welcomed, but obviously not always.
Its especially sad when you were badly treated as a child, without deserving it, and then find you are treating a child of your own in the same unpleasant and undeserved way.
Counselling is probably the best way to sort this out, helping you to understand and change these bad habits.
You mention doing this with your child ofm 4, but not yet the child of 2 - were you, by chance, around 4 years old when your own mother started ridiculing you and making you feel small and helpless ?

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