advertisement
Question
Posted by: Aly | 2011-01-25

What do I do

I have a dilema which is so hard to understand as I have no answers. I am married to a wonderfull man who has turned into a complete stranger......He has last spoken to me on the 26th of December, I have tried all avenues to comunicate with him, SMS email Letter verbal, but no response I dont know whats his Buzz. I have seeked Help from a minister to intervene but even that has not Helped. He works such odd hours and has slept out on 3 ocasions, where he is either by family or heaven knows where I dont phone after him about his whereabouts like I used to, because to his family I am the idiot as this has happened before where i phone the country to speak with him and they inturn Lie for him. Its so painfull and so hard because I do still Love him so much. If I open my mouth he packs up and runs. Is there hope with my husband or do I cut my loses altho it is very very hard, because one Hopes things will change for the better

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Very puzzling. Discuss it with his family ( at least they need to know and may be able to help )
YOur mesage is obscure - but if he is living and working in another country, you have very little you can do to discover what is going on ( and it certainly sounds as though something is going on ) and especially if the family is being unhelpful. It sounds as though he has effectively divorced you, without having had the decency to discus with you whatever problems there are

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

12
Our users say:
Posted by: Ricky | 2011-01-28

Ignoring someone is cruel and so unnecessary ..... he needs to discuss problems, not run away from them ...

Reply to Ricky
Posted by: Romany | 2011-01-27

I wish you strenght and luck.

Reply to Romany
Posted by: Aly | 2011-01-27

Hi Just Saying, I am building up the courage to do just that....I am a sucker punishment but its just so painfull I know I have to draw the line but im hanging onto lost hope and empty promises, no later than this weekend will I tell him that he has to make a decision and that I will no longer tolerate being treated this way...IF he will answer me or say anything is anyones guess....Thanks for everyones support and advice I really do appreciate it very much

Reply to Aly
Posted by: just saying! | 2011-01-27

He is selfish and you deserve better , leave him he is going to hurt you again and so early in to a marraige.
Move on you can do it, why waste your energy on a loser like him, he does not deserve your love and affection, He is not worth your pain, it may not be easy now but will get better in time. good luck with your decision, I am sure your family will agree with me , he is so not worth it , what a a..hole..

Reply to just saying!
Posted by: Aly | 2011-01-27

Hi Reverse Roles - been there.....I have tried a letter, sms, email, sending pics of our happy days and good times our letters of promises to eachother but to no avail.....its so disheartening to know that the one person u love is so cold.....we are married for 1yr 4 months he has walked out on me after being married for 4 months, I ended up in hospital with severe depression and a nervous breakdown because it was just to much to handle and unexpected. I spent 3 wks in hospital, after my discharge he realised what he is losing when I asked him to sign a consent for divorce he begged cried and went to see my whole family to apologise for his actions and sefishness, I gave him a secound chance with him promising the world now this and I dont know why.....If only I knew why?

Reply to Aly
Posted by: Reverse Rolls - Been There | 2011-01-27

Hi Aly, I am so very sorry to hear about your current situation. It does sound as if your husband has something going on hence his total avoidance of you etc. Perhaps you should consider sitting down in-front of your computer and typing him a letter from your heart that way you could possibly release some of the emotions you are holding inside from not being able to discuss anything with him when he is around.

Not sure how long you have been married and what your family life is like but only you will know what''s best for you.

I do however suggest trying to get through to him in a letter.

Good Luck - I do hope it all works out for you!

Reply to Reverse Rolls - Been There
Posted by: just saying! | 2011-01-26

Sweety his cheating big time and is hiding from you. No one works that late , you need to make a decision, dont take his crap and do what is right for you, he is behaving like a little child and if he is not man enough to tell you , leave him you deserve better. Love is not enough here and he is playing you! Be hard and tell him if he want''s to be single he knows what to do , dont wait for him and his family to humilate you any further dont phone after him, dont cook for him or anything, eventually he will ask for clean clothes etc and then you just tell him with a sweet smile, you dont treat me like your wife , clean your own stuff single man..
honestly dont take this BS , he is up to something..

Reply to just saying!
Posted by: Aly | 2011-01-26

We live in the same house in the same country, he works till early hours of the morning and comes home when I''m asleep and sleep when I leave for work in the morning. When I am at home over weekends he goes to work or makes as if his going to work to avoid being with me, if I try to talk to him he doesnt respond at all, even just talking in general I get no response from at all, How should I confront him and how do I get some answers from him, I feel so alone. Please give me some advice its so painfull to love someone and get treated in such a cruel and callous way.

Reply to Aly
Posted by: Soul | 2011-01-26

Aly it''s time you had a heart to heart with him and tell him you want to know what''s going on, if he wants to be part of your marriage he need to be part of it. Tell him how you feel and that you not going to continue on like this. You need to make it clear to him that his loosing you and he needs to get his act together.

Reply to Soul
Posted by: Casey | 2011-01-26

Maybe it is better to cut you losses.

Reply to Casey
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011-01-26

Very puzzling. Discuss it with his family ( at least they need to know and may be able to help )
YOur mesage is obscure - but if he is living and working in another country, you have very little you can do to discover what is going on ( and it certainly sounds as though something is going on ) and especially if the family is being unhelpful. It sounds as though he has effectively divorced you, without having had the decency to discus with you whatever problems there are

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: More info pls | 2011-01-25

Are u living with him or is he overseas?

Reply to More info pls

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement