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Question
Posted by: sue ellen | 2010/02/08

what do i do

my husband is a workacoholic of note, for some time now he leaves at 7am and is only back at 10 sometimes 11 sometimes if they really need him to do things (the big bully bosses that is who abuse kind hardworkers like him) then its 12:30 meaning he never sees his two kids 6 and 3 go to bed or read to them like they so wish he could. Culturally i dont think he sees the importance from his culture to do little things with the family like reading to kids or eating together as a family etc. He is there for us on weekends SAT and SUN works late even Fri night. SO are our kids going to be affected psychologically and what do i say short of i want a divorce to make him realise that all 3 of us need more quality time. I am at home with them so it becomes a long day and night without a dad. I feel like a single married! It is affecting our relationship because obviously i wonder what he is really up to even though i snooped and have no evidence of affair. How do i make my babies feel better about this and how do i as the wife fight to save the marriage and the family? His work DOES make huge demands without considering his family time yet the org preaches health and wellness, i spoke to the Manager of that dept and she has never even come back after a year to ask how its goin meaning she did not evne bother to speak to him or his manager to slow down a bit, i spoke to her in a most professional confidential manner so my husb does not know about that talk. What else can i do?i am thinking of senidn an anonymous letter to his direct boss and just mentioning things without directly linking it to my husb as i am aware of others being bullied and abused too. Sometimes this incl weekends and trips away for up to a wk at a time when there are enuf peopl in org to alternate or swap, i suppose the eager beaver must do everything, its a shame to watch the abuse and not be able to do anything at least for my kids. The eldest has started comparing him to other dads who are THERE!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Tell him to fit sessions of marriage counselling into his busy schedule. The kids are not likely to be damaged, but of course they will miss out on mych that could have been great in their childhood years - as will your husband.
Pity he gets exploited by the far les hard-working management. I wonder if there is any chance that he could transfer his experience and skills to another company which might apprecoate him better ?
As a nation we need a better system for dealing with worker abuse by management. While trades unions can be effective in looking after workers where there is a large industry and many lower-level workers, they don't seem to reach the guys like your husband

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/02/08

Tell him to fit sessions of marriage counselling into his busy schedule. The kids are not likely to be damaged, but of course they will miss out on mych that could have been great in their childhood years - as will your husband.
Pity he gets exploited by the far les hard-working management. I wonder if there is any chance that he could transfer his experience and skills to another company which might apprecoate him better ?
As a nation we need a better system for dealing with worker abuse by management. While trades unions can be effective in looking after workers where there is a large industry and many lower-level workers, they don't seem to reach the guys like your husband

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