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Question
Posted by: Sandra | 2009-06-22

what do i do?

Hi, i have a bit of a complicated issue. i have been going out with my boyfriend for the past ten months, and things are going well. the only problem that he drinks, not a lot, usually a beer or two every second day. but over the last week he has been drinking almost everyday, with his friends just for recreation. i usually don' t have a problem with him drinking, but since it was so often this week i started to get a bit worried. i don' t want him to become an alcoholic:(

My father is an alcoholic, he has been doing this all my life, i am highly traumatized by him and his alcoholic behavior, he was mentally, physically, and verbally abusive towards my mother, sister and i. i still haven' t come to terms with this and i still live at home, so this is an everyday issue with me.

I was feeling really terrible about this and yesterday, i told my boyfriend how i feel, he is extremely understanding about this. i am so terrified of my boyfriend becoming an alcoholic like my dad, especially because i do care for him a lot.

Am i just being paranoid, or do i feel this way because of my dad?

i would never stop my boyfriend from drinking, because i would never stop him from doing anything that he liked, but every time he does drink, i have this sickening feeling that i am gonna lose him to the alcohol.

do i wait a while more to see if the situation stays the same, before i confront him again?

Please advise me on this situation

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Any of us who have had an alcoholic in the family, will be understandably sensitive about heavy drinking in anyone we know. Alcoholism has deeper and more complex roots, and isn't simply caused by some episodes of drinking more than usual. I wonder what your boyfriend said to you when you talked to him about your concerns. Continue to discuss this together, explaining why you are very sensitive about this, and also that you don't want to inhibit him from any normal behaviour. What you describe him as doing som far is well within the range of ordinary young men..

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: babybathwater | 2009-06-23

Your clearly overeacting and freaking out over nothing because of your past baggage with your father being an alcoholic.

i dont think you have anything to worry about theres a big difference between alcoholism and what your bf is doing.

Reply to babybathwater
Posted by: Ingrid | 2009-06-22

I' ve been in ur situation
its scary I know!
I think u should express ur concerns again if ur still not comfortable. ultimately excess alcohol is bad for anyone so try encourage him to live " healthier"  ?
my ex was an alcoholic and it destroyed our lives. be careful honey!!

Reply to Ingrid

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