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Question
Posted by: Worried Mom | 2010/02/18

What can i see as underage dating

My Daughter just turns 18 and is in GR 12 and we are constantly getting her involved with older guys over the age of 23. Via this Mxit chat.

She is well 18 but emotionally she is not ready for such a relationship. She is still in School. What is the law against this?????? Can we lay charges against the guy?
In the 1ste place what does a 24 or 25 year old wants from an 18 year old school girl???

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageTeen expert

What is happening is not against the law, as 18 is now the age of majority.

It is often the case at this age that girls mature younger than guys and as a result girls will often date slightly older guys.

If you have concerns about who she is dating then I suggest you talk to her about it. Wading in threatening legal action and trying to control her will only do one thing and that is damage your relationship with her.

I would suggest that you also search your feelings in relation to her no longer being a child, but a young adult and the emotional adjustments that are needed to allow this to happen and to keep your relationship with her strong.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: sally | 2010/04/23

I remember when I was 18, the allure of the older guy was so powerful, now at 32, I look at 24-year olds and think how immature those guys really were!!!.
I think it really depends on the guy! Try to make the effort to meet them and see for yourself. Maybe your daughter will be willing to introduce them. Invite him over for supper and explain to her that, as they are in a mature relationship, they must be willing to have supper like grown ups.

Also, like teen expert says: girls tend to mature faster. I found guys my age so juvenile and that they just didn''t get me. Also, the harder you fight against it, the harder your daughter will fight for it.

Part of my problem at that age was that my mom &  dad were VERY old-fashioned and I felt I couldn''t talk to them about things like sex. So, my advice is: make sure you present a non-judgemental, non-lecturing face and always be open to listening witout freakin out. But don''t be their friend, be the parent - if all goes wrong, you will be their safe place to land. My first time was with an awful guy who totally pressured me into it...and he was my age. I think of my folks were more open-minded, I could have gotten good advice from them and it wouldn''t have happened. It will prob be hard, but at least this way you can guide her towards being careful (condoms etc). Further, she''s no longer a minor, so there isn''t much you can do.

Reply to sally
Posted by: Teen expert | 2010/02/22

What is happening is not against the law, as 18 is now the age of majority.

It is often the case at this age that girls mature younger than guys and as a result girls will often date slightly older guys.

If you have concerns about who she is dating then I suggest you talk to her about it. Wading in threatening legal action and trying to control her will only do one thing and that is damage your relationship with her.

I would suggest that you also search your feelings in relation to her no longer being a child, but a young adult and the emotional adjustments that are needed to allow this to happen and to keep your relationship with her strong.

Reply to Teen expert
Posted by: G-Dad | 2010/02/19

Well if she is older than 16 then it is not under age dating anymore.

Live with it, the more you push against her dating slightly older men the more she will challenge you, my sister experienced the same problem with her daughter, eventually her daughter moved out and to stay with the boyfriend, legally she could not stop her, her daughter was also 18 at the time, the boyfriend 23, now that they accepted her child' s privacy the relationship has somewhat improved.

Reply to G-Dad

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