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Question
Posted by: Thuli | 2012/03/28

What can I do?

Hi, when I first met my boyfriend who''s my husgand now, he had a problem with early ejaculation. I then used porn movies to try and stimulate myself to reach an orgasm. But now he''s fine but I struggle to reach orgasm naturally so....

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

The question I have is were you sexually active before you met your husband/boyfriend (i.e. have you ever been orgasmic through penetrative intercourse)? The reason I ask this is that it will influence the response... If you were, then perhaps you have just become used to the kind of stimulation you have recently been exposed to (porn + self-stimulation I assume) and will need to stop that stimulation and refocus/resensitise to things that worked previously. If this has never been the case, then perhaps you need to explore your sexual response more with your husband. Make sure that you receive adequate sexual stimulation before penetration takes place (you may need to direct or show him), and then similarly with penetration direct/move in such a way that optimises your pleasure. Whatever you do, don't pressure yourself to reach orgasm is this is one of the surest ways to prevent it...try to relax, focus on sensations and move to the rhythm your body is calling for...

Claire - SASHA
For further information please consult SASHA’s website at www.sexualhealth.qw.co.za/dru For referral to a professional in your vicinity, please send an email to helpline.sasha@gmail.com

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Thuli | 2012/04/01

Thank you very much for your response...
I''ve managed to reach orgasm previously before I met my husband. I think he also puts himself under pressure too by trying too hard to satisfy me no matter how hard I try to re-assure him.

I''ll definitely use your advise.

Reply to Thuli
Posted by: Sexologist | 2012/03/29

The question I have is were you sexually active before you met your husband/boyfriend (i.e. have you ever been orgasmic through penetrative intercourse)? The reason I ask this is that it will influence the response... If you were, then perhaps you have just become used to the kind of stimulation you have recently been exposed to (porn + self-stimulation I assume) and will need to stop that stimulation and refocus/resensitise to things that worked previously. If this has never been the case, then perhaps you need to explore your sexual response more with your husband. Make sure that you receive adequate sexual stimulation before penetration takes place (you may need to direct or show him), and then similarly with penetration direct/move in such a way that optimises your pleasure. Whatever you do, don't pressure yourself to reach orgasm is this is one of the surest ways to prevent it...try to relax, focus on sensations and move to the rhythm your body is calling for...

Claire - SASHA
For further information please consult SASHA’s website at www.sexualhealth.qw.co.za/dru For referral to a professional in your vicinity, please send an email to helpline.sasha@gmail.com

Reply to Sexologist

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