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Question
Posted by: Colleen | 2010/03/29

What can I do ?

Hello Doc,

Please can you help I am married for 11 years and have 2 kids with my hubby. We''ve had our ups and downs and lately I have been having insecurities about our marriage. He is rather attractive so I can understand women being attracted to him. I just feel really sick whenever I see women trying to get his attention. I really feel I need to get over myself already because I know he would never hurt me but its these women that I fear, are there any coping tactics I could use just to reassure myself. Im not someone to say anything to him but I can actually see my mood change when things like this happen and I hate the feelings that surface within. What do you think I should do?

Thanks Doc

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Marriage counselling might help you to find better ways of handling such issues together. It's not that you need to "get over yourself", but to realize both that he would not do anything to hurt you, as you say, and that it is the pathetic preening other women who need to be pitied, not given the importance of considering them as rivals

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5
Our users say:
Posted by: Happiness | 2010/03/30

What does the other women you feel are a threat have that you don''t have? Answer that question and you''ll have a starting point. Are they looking sexy, slim, or stylish? Whatever the reason you are already at an advantage because you already have the man of your dreams. All you need to do is look good so you feel good, confident and secured.

Reply to Happiness
Posted by: aaa | 2010/03/30

Hi Colleen

You must say something, let him know you trust him but have your concerns about these other women. There is serious competition out there these days between women, regardless of whether they are married or not, if they can upgrade to a better lifestyle and better looking guy, their marriage vows mean nothing, if they are single it''s a free or all. If a man knows his wife loves him and trusts him and that is mutual he will make sure the other women know he is not interested.

Reply to aaa
Posted by: Colleen | 2010/03/30

Thanks Latoya and Cybershrink for the response. Really don''t know why I have these doubts in my mind when I know what you both saying are true.....I will definitely try harder.

Reply to Colleen
Posted by: Latoya | 2010/03/29

The fact that he married you, is assurance enough, that he love you and not all this women that he meet, he has made a vow that he will be with you till death do you part, just relax and know that you are the best thing in his life.
I am sure he didnt marry you to cause you pain, believe in him and be happy you are the wife to him

Reply to Latoya
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/03/29

Marriage counselling might help you to find better ways of handling such issues together. It's not that you need to "get over yourself", but to realize both that he would not do anything to hurt you, as you say, and that it is the pathetic preening other women who need to be pitied, not given the importance of considering them as rivals

Reply to cybershrink

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