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Question
Posted by: Kelly | 2009/11/20

What can I do?

This is it, I am friends with my ex bf, we were also engaged at a time.
We broke up about 2 &  half years ago and have always remained friends.
He met another lady they got married, have a baby and recently got divorced.
Now, since he got married we have not had contact.
His ex wife used to call me while they were married and even before from private number and say nothing, she also contacted me via chat pretending to be him which she used to do often. I have since not even bothered to go onto chat and am not on facebook.
I have a bf and we have been together for 2 yrs now, plan on getting married next yr.
He is fine with our friendship as this guys\ pops in every now and again to visit as he was and still is close to my family and we still enjoy ea.others company and friendship.
Please also note that that is it, friendship only! I have no other feelings for him or him for me.

So the thing is his ex wife keeps calling me, I have since been using another number but cannot exactly change my number for many reasons ofcourse. This has given her the idea that I have changed my number since whenever she has called she gets vmail and I now get less calls from her.
Apparently she calls to hear if he is around me when he does not answer his cell.

Now she has found a pic of the 2 of us on a friends facebook at a mutual friends party
A harmless group pic. That she has edited and written some very ugly things on about me and posted it on her facebook as I’ ve been told by a couple of friends.
She has been accusing him of cheating with me while he was married and told his and her family this and that we are still together and this pic is her proof.
His family ofcourse know the truth.
She even refuses to let him see their baby which is the worst part of it all.
This could really ruin my reputation!
What if esp. my bf family gets to it somehow, I mean this is just wrong!
My bf know this lady is a bit disturbed so at least it won’ t ruin my relationship.
What can I do to prevent this lady from further damaging my reputation, calling me and spreading these horrible lies about me?
Speaking to her will not help and I do not want to get personally involve in this whole thing because she really is crazy and her family are 100% behind her.
I think she has just stepped over the border line and I really am not happy with this at all.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

You both need good legal advice. Her behaviour towards you during their marriage was probably inappropriate, and right now it is definitely inappropriate, ad you could probably go to court for an interdict against her, forbidding her from contacting you, harassing you in any way, etc, and for her to ignore that would be contempt of court and a serious offense., which could even lead to her arrest.
She is also not entitled to refuse him access to his child, and his lawyer should be able to ask a court to order that he receive proper access - the issue isn't whether a spiteful woman wants to hurt him, but what is good for the child, and that should almost always include proper access to the dad. Again, if she ignores such a court order, she would be in trouble.

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Sam | 2009/11/20

I' m sure you can take this woman to court for defamation of character.

Reply to Sam
Posted by: cybershrink | 2009/11/20

You both need good legal advice. Her behaviour towards you during their marriage was probably inappropriate, and right now it is definitely inappropriate, ad you could probably go to court for an interdict against her, forbidding her from contacting you, harassing you in any way, etc, and for her to ignore that would be contempt of court and a serious offense., which could even lead to her arrest.
She is also not entitled to refuse him access to his child, and his lawyer should be able to ask a court to order that he receive proper access - the issue isn't whether a spiteful woman wants to hurt him, but what is good for the child, and that should almost always include proper access to the dad. Again, if she ignores such a court order, she would be in trouble.

Reply to cybershrink

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