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Question
Posted by: mike | 2012/03/12

what about my needs?

hi doc,

i have a question about sex. i''m gay and love my boyfriend very much. in a way, i''ve assumed the role of " bottom" , which i don''t mind. he is the first guy i''ve had sex with, and since the beginning of our relationship, i''ve wanted to try being a " top" .

i don''t know how to address this... we tried once, and he kinda felt very uncomfortable and i had to stop. he is a lot bigger than what i am, and it wasn''t forceful or anything.

i don''t really get pleasure from handjobs or -|- s, and wanted to try being a top.

whenever we talk about sex, it''s immediately dismissed. like any topic whatsoever. so i''m actually afraid to tackle the topic. please help me.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

It is interesting that you mention that your boyfriend not only dismisses the topic you mention but in fact any topic whatsoever. It is important for your feelings be taken into consideration in the relationship, otherwise you will be left feeling frustrated and taken for granted. It is important that you adress this and the fact that you would also like to try the 'on top' position during love making. You commented that you love your boyfrined very much. Perhaps you should mention this but that you also have your own needs and feelings too. A relationship which is one sided is not easy to maintain.

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Guggs | 2012/03/13

Maybe try the gay and lesbian forum?

Reply to Guggs
Posted by: sexologist | 2012/03/13

It is interesting that you mention that your boyfriend not only dismisses the topic you mention but in fact any topic whatsoever. It is important for your feelings be taken into consideration in the relationship, otherwise you will be left feeling frustrated and taken for granted. It is important that you adress this and the fact that you would also like to try the 'on top' position during love making. You commented that you love your boyfrined very much. Perhaps you should mention this but that you also have your own needs and feelings too. A relationship which is one sided is not easy to maintain.

Reply to sexologist

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